The Grand Adventures of Life

Things are going well

2005-09-07T16:07:00.000-04:00

Things are going really well right now. School is great I love!!!! School. I know thats insain but its true. The animals i'm pet sitting are doing great. The dog is overly in love with me he follows me around all day and then when he sleeps on my bed he snuggles all up to my legs and if i roll over he'll get up wait for me to get comfortable and then snuggles back up to me. Hes supper sweet. The cat is still anti social but getting better, what makes me feel really good is the fact that she is even anti social to her family so i don't feel bad. oh oh i saw the greatest movie last night "The Work and the Glory" its so awesome if you haven't seen it go see it!!!!! great great great movie and oh i saw "latter day night live" its a Latter day saint take off of saturday night live and its sooooo funny. One of the guys is from the "best two years" another really awesome movie. but anyways its so funny.
Oh and last night I made up my mind regardless of what happens I'm going to BYU Provo!! That is well i belong and so I'm going to work myself to death if needs be to get in. I ordered a BYU hooded sweatshirt and BYU flip-flops. Yes i'll get there one day. It will so wonderful to get out there and have people with my standards. My "best friend" is a member of the church and she does anything but live the standards and its pathetic i wish i had someone that lived by the standards of the church to hang out with. but anyways it will be wonderful to get out there and be surrounded by members of the church. You don't have to worry about say oh i don't watch R rated movies or oh i don't watch that kind of tv show you know it will be amazing.
My mom came up for a few days and i really enjoyed having her I have missed her so much. And she got me a job while she was here. I'm going in friday to fill out the paperwork. It really helps to have a dad that everyone in the word loves. Its like you mention his name around anyone who knows who he is and everyone is like oh i love your dad. So anyways yes not sure what day i start but soon. I had two other interviews at other places but i'd rather go here to work. anyways I've got to go take care Vanessa

Sorry its been so long!!!

2005-09-04T16:33:00.000-04:00

Sorry its taken me so long to add a new post it seems like forever. I was at my parents and they didn't get internet for two weeks and then I moved back over here and have been adjusting to the new way of life and its just really busy the last couple of weeks so anyways here is my fist post in almost a month and a half.
I'm living on my own now no parents no roommates nobody at all just a dog, cat, and gerbil i'm pet sitting. The house i'm in right now is really nice its 5 bedroom 3 baths and a billion other rooms the only problem is its a big house and it gets really scary at night all by myself and all. But i'm not going to complain to much its rent free which is so nice.

School is great. I have this accounting course that is so boring and the teacher is mono-toned but at the same time she has a southern accent so its is a billion times more annoying. but other than that school is wonderful. I have a political science course with a guy who served in Vietnam which is great. I LOVE MILLITARY TEACHERS!!!!! I absolutely adore them. I'm not sure if he was a Marine or in the Army (i personally think Army he seems more Armyish but who knows) I'd go to a millitary school just to ensure having all millitary teachers but oh well right. but i do love having the ones i do. And of course i have Caldwell again greatest teacher ever. His class is great except for "Will Just Will Please Thank You" Its this guy who thinks he knows everything i have had two other classes with him and he drives me insain. The reason i call him what i do is the first semester i had him the teacher and him went through the same routine every single day for the entire semester. The teacher would call roll and it was "William" and he would Say "its Will just will please thank you" every time you'd think he'd just give up and accept the fact that the teacher wasn't going to call him Will right? oh no it was every bloody day it drove me up the wall and then he always has to answer everything and give a ten minute long answer everytime which was annoying enough in the first place but in Caldwell's class its worthy of me absolutely hating the guy. I didn't sign up for a lecture from him i signed up to hear Caldwell teach and i won't stand for half the class being taken up by Will just Will please thank you. anyways Caldwell won't either thats my only saving glory. Anyways love school love most of my classes.

I have a question? how do you know you are in love. . . . . . not puppy love or a crush or oh hes really cute love but really truely love? You see my whole life i've wanted to be anywhere else but where i was. Preferably London. Since i was four or five thats the only place i wanted to be i dreamed of it studied it longed for it thought that life would never be complete until i was there but now i couldn't care less if i ever saw it. You see the only place i want to be is right here in the valley with you know who. It is depressing beyound words the thought of transfering somewhere else. I've wanted to travel to go to a far off college and i don't want that anymore well i do and i don't its strange like i want BYU because its clean and has high standards and my roommates would be good people and i wouldn't have to face a world that i don't want any part of but four thousand miles aways from him is insain. How do you leave something you love so much? There is a movie called French Kiss (really inappropriate movie don't see it) i use to be totally in love with the movie anyways there is this one part that Luke (kevin cline's character) says and hes like "little by little you will forget all about him first his chin, then his smile and you will struggle to remeber the exact color of his eyes and then he will be gone all together." (not the exact quote but close enough haven't seen it in ages anyways) that use to be comforting because in time you forget the pain and sorrow of losing someone or them not being in your life anymore but now its just depressing i don't want to forget this guy i don't want to lose his eye color or his smile or any of him. Oh do you have someone in life that means so much that has completely shaped you last two or three years and walk away as if he means nothing to you. He's my entire world right now and i can't picture life with out him and either at the end december or next april i'll never see him again. EVER. I don't know it just doesn't seem fair to me.

Anyways will post hopefully not to far in the future. Take Care Vanessa.

getting ready for things

2005-07-24T20:12:00.000-04:00

Well i've finished all my school work last night for this semester i did both history papers that are due next week super early and now all i have to do is show up for class and then take my final exam in each class i have one exam tuesday and then on i have to come back for next monday. we are moving wednesday isn't that insain. it always seemed a million miles away the move i mean and now its in a few days. I have so much to do to get ready. then sunday night i have to come back spend the night in a hotel (the first time i have ever spent the night in a hotel by my self) and take my final exam for history and then drive back to the new house and so yeah should be fun, should be fun is meant in the up most sarcastic way. Then in three weeks i come back do you know that in th next eight months i'll move four times. that is sick. Oh the life of a college kid. oh well right that just means alot of adventures in store for me right? one of my favorite quotes by Sir Winston Churchill (one of my up most favorite people in all the history of this world) is "Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever lengthening, ever ascending, ever improving path. You know you will never get to the of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb." I think that fits so well with my life right now. I guess it does with most people. anyways so i haven't decided what college i want to transfer to so i'm thinking i'll look into alot that have good history programs and apply to all that are interesting and then which ever ones i get into i consider and go to which ever one sounds the best or has the best study abroad programs :-) i would really like to go to BYU but i don't have my heart set on it or anything. anyways its kinda sad fixing to end another semester i'll end it with two A's and one B so i did pretty good for myself i suppose i'd rather have had three A's but a certain someone didn't like my essay on the Holy Roman Empire i can't stand Pro. Lanigan anyways so its not a big deal. Anyways so life is rather busy right now but its okay that is how it should be it keeps us out of trouble right? so take care Vanessa

2005-07-21T19:30:00.000-04:00

This is a place that I have dreamed of seeing most of my life. It is Hagia Sophia it use to be a Christian church in Constantinople named after the great conqueror Constantine (love him) under the Byzantine Empire after the split of the Roman Empire. After centuries of being one of the only cities never to fall the Muslims under the Ottoman Empire conquered the city in like 1490s sometime around there anyways so once they went into the city they had intentions of getting rid of the church but once they saw it the ottoman ruler was in such awww of its beauty that he refused to do anything bad to it. Instead he turned it into a Muslim masque and it stands there today of course its now in present day Istanbul, Turkey but I would love to see it. Something that once held the world�s record for the biggest dome and something that struck such awe in the hearts of men that did not even believe in that religion is amazing. We studied it in art history and saw all kinds of pictures from the inside and it is the most amazingly beautiful place. Even the walls and pictures that depicted Christ were so beautiful that the Muslim ruler simply decided that most of them would stay and they would just claim that it was Muhammad instead of Christ. Yeah you can tell I am a history freak. Anyways I have really got to get going I have school in the morning and I am exhausted. Take care. Vanessa

P.S.

2005-07-19T16:10:00.000-04:00

P.S. I have decided to argue that the Atomic Bomb was the most responisble factor in the origins of the Cold War. I think I'll Email my professor and ask him if i could email him a copy and have him look over it cause well yeah lol anyways just letting you know the out come of my dilemma. Anyways yes the Atomic Bomb and i'm sticking to it thats okay my next essay paper is really really whats the word . . . . . . . . um maybe hideous yes thats the word anyways talk to y'all later take care.

Busy with School work

2005-07-19T12:46:00.000-04:00

I love school as sick as that is to say or listen to i really love school but right now i'm so loaded down with school work. I have my three philosophy essays due saturday and then i have two history papers due one monday and one wednesday the paper right now i'm writing is "Is Stalin Responsible for the Cold War" i haven't decided which side i'm on yet. See what we do is read two essays then we have to write an paper that has an introduction two paragraphs of summary of the essays by the other people and then we have to agree with one and tell why and use info from them to back up our view well its between Stalin or the Creation of the Atomic Bomb and i have to pick which one is most responsible for the cold war. I asked mom and dad cause both are really into history mom is like well not sure i don't know alot about stalin and dad is like well i'll tell you who is the most responsible for the cold war hes the author of all lies he. . . . yeah i can just picture it right now the look on Caldwell's face when he's reading my paper and it says The Devil Made Him Do IT yeah that'll be an F but no seriously i'm not sure which side i'm on i don't believe stalin is soly to blame its more the Soviet Union and the Atomic Bomb was created in the first place because of the threat of post-war diplomacy with the soviet union so mmmmm well the cold war was a arms race. who could build their military the biggest and who could have the most weapons of mass distruction (boy i'm happy bush 2 wasn't the president during that time we'd be over there getting our tells kicked by the Russians) so the atomic bomb really set off a race for arms so isn't that it but still it was built in the threat of post-war russia so yeah but it was us breaking the Yalta Agreement and not sharing info with them so if you stab someone in the back and not share info that you promise they have the right to be royally teed off at you right? I'm confused i'm still not sure which on to side with maybe i'll ask caldwell tomorrow. Anyways thats what i'm up to right now. I'm moving next week isn't that discusting we'll having the movers pack us next wednesday we are leaving that thursday and i'll be staying in a hotel over here on sunday so i can go take my finial exam so my finial exam is less then two weeks away and my finial exam in philosophy is next week i think tuesday :-( and then after not this monday but the next one three weeks till i get to come back and go to school. Oh but by the way out of the three weeks i'm suppose to be in with my parents i have like four doctor appointments i have to drive to charllotesville for yes so much fun. lol anyways yes. I think i'll side with stalin being the bad guy i really didn't want to cause everyone says stalin is a bad guy (well he was he was the kind of guy that made hitler to look like a choirboy and everything) but i'm sick of them saying that he was this evil person that was evil from the time he was born well you know what he was a product of his environment i hate that phrase but come on i'd like anyone to live in post bolshevik revolution Russia and come out better than he did. It doesn't pardon him for what he did but anyways its either him or go against my wonderful Roosevelt and Churchill so i'm not sure anyways guess i'll let you guys know oh oh got my mid-term back and it was a 97 and it had a big Thank You beside it so i guess the other grades weren't so good. lol lol giggle giggle lol lol i got a big caldwell thank you mmmmmm happy day. anyways i was very happy about that. Anyways take care will post more another day Vanessa

Not a good day to say the least

2005-07-12T14:42:00.000-04:00

Yesterday i started of on a very rought day i ripped my nail off trying to open the cereal box went to get a bandade for it, turned around smashed my knee and now i have a bruze about the size of my hand on the side of my knee then i was getting dressed went in my closet to get a shirt and broke my toe on the doorjam then when i thought nothing to get worse i went to the bathroom five minutes before i had to leave and my period started yeah so much fun but then after all that i got to history class on time and everything else just faded away and i was happy had a great class knew all the answers that everyone else didn't and i was getting on the good side of my teacher, i just wish i had history today so everything would go away this morning mom had to take all the animals to the vet to make sure they were up to date on their shots and stuff before we moved and we found out that baby girl had the cat form of aids and then we had to get luna and alexie tested to see if they had it and they didn't thank goodness but we had to put baby girl to sleep. and then i felt so guilty because all i wanted was alexie to be okay and when we found out she was i felt sooooo guilty i know i shouldn't but i do. I don't think i've cried so much in a long time. Momma is so upset baby was her little buddy mom loved her so much i thought she was going to pass out when we were driving home from the vet she was crying so hard. Poor Baby i hope Heavenly Father is holding her close right now and i hope she'll forgive us.

Marines

2005-07-06T22:10:00.000-04:00

mmmmm white pants and all (I prefer the white pants so much more then the blue ones with the red stripes)

july 4th

2005-07-05T13:13:00.000-04:00

Happy belated Fourth of July. I hope everyone had a happy and extremely safe holiday. Mine was perfect!!! Originally we were suppose to go to Washington D.C. It has become family tradition to go to DC but the year before last we were in the middle of moving and last year things were crazy so we did not get to go so we were suppose to go this year. Then Jared (my brother) and his girlfriend were suppose to go with us, but then they found out that Jared had to work half a day so we were not going to be able to make it to DC which really irritated my beyond words, so then we were going to do something in Richmond or Fredericksburg. So after church Sunday we drove to Fredericksburg to stay with my dad, and about an hour after we got there Jared called and said he could not make it at all. So we decided we would go to DC after all. Well we did not want to go on the metro because it would be packed and driving would be insane so we decided to go on the train (Amtrak train) lol that was wonderful. We got on about five-thirty pm and rode up. The best part of it is we went straight threw the middle of Quantico Marine Base and when I say the middle I mean the middle. We came through and there were about 300 marines out running and marching and doing the wonderful things that Marines do. It was wonderful marines, marines, and more marines. Then when we stop at the Quantico base stop like thirty marines got on lol oh happy day. Did I ever tell you I love marines. My gracious I love marines. So then we got to DC and they always have a big concert there and we had no idea who was going to be there but guess what THE BEACH BOYS!!!!! YES THE BEACH BOYS I JUST ABOUT DIED ME AND MOM WERE SCREAMING AND CELEBRATING WHEN WE FOUND OUT. Then Gloria Estifan (can not spell) and Ronan from the Irish Tenors (love the Irish Tenors) and a bunch of other people. I was so happy it was great. And then the fireworks were amazing DC always has the best fireworks. And they had a twenty one cannon salute with army guys in their uniforms. Not even close to a marine but still good looking in uniform. Never date one but do not mind looking. Then we got on the train and started back. The first time we sat down we had four DRUNK!! People in front of us they must have been like in their early twenties but they were so annoying, then we changed seats and we went down on the first level and there were marines mmmmm good stuff anyways so when we went back through Quantico one of the hangers or what ever were opened and you could see this tank and let me tell you something I have seen a lot of tanks in my life but that was the absolute biggest thing I had ever seen in my life. HUGE is not the word. Anyways so we got back to the train station in Fredericksburg and went back to dads apartment. But it was a wonderful Independence Day. I got up yearly this morning got in the shower and headed home. I did not get home till like eleven thirty and I was so happy to be here I missed it like crazy. All my life I wanted to be somewhere else but now I can not stand to leave this valley. I miss it like crazy when I am away, the mountains the fresh air, the breeze, the everything. Anyways so I guess thats all for now. I GET TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!! AM EXCITED BEYOND WORDS HAVE HAD MY OUTFIT PICKED OUT SINCE LAST THURDAY IS THAT NOT SAD. ANYWAYS I GET TO GO TO HISTORY TOMORROW AND I WILL ENJOY IT SOOOOOOO MUCH. So anyways enough of that will let yall all know how it goes Take Care! Vanessa

Some good news some bad

2005-06-27T09:51:00.000-04:00

Well do you want the good news first or the bad news?? okay bad news mom is going out of town today and will be gone till sometime wednesday night and then next week while i'm in school she'll be in baltimore with my brother michael and his wife christina and little baby Zander, isn't fair i really wanted to go with them but I am no missing caldwell's class sorry i'm don't want to commit grade suicide this semester. So anyways I'll be by my self alot the next couple of weeks which isn't fair since the fact remains that this is the last month i'll spend around either of my parents for a long time.
Okay the good news Fourth of July we are going to D.C. and Kenny G and a Marine thingy will be going on:-) mmmmmm Marines yes i'm excited. We are going with my brother jared :-( do not get on well with him at all, and his girlfriend sarah she's really nice don't know how the two ended up together anyways so i hope i won't feel like a fifth wheel all day, that would be irritating but maybe i won't, I wish i had someone to take with me but everyone is busy that day or going home for the extended weekend or whatever. So anyways yes.
Some more good news just finished my essay saturday for History 111 and emailed it to the professor hopefully i'll get a good grade on it. Okay i can't stand lanigan (my history teacher) he drives me up the wall, the only materials we could use for the essay was our text book and that was it, that isn't bad but the topic was and i quote "Examine the origins and growth of the Holy Roman Empire. What were it's strengths and it's limitations" There is a total of two paragraphs in the entire book on the Holy Roman Empire and he wants us to write a in depth final exam essay on it. I swear if i was close enough to him i'd smack him. Caldwell would never do that to us, he would give us a really hard topic but make sure we had the ability and materials that we would need to complete an essay like that. anyways i'm just hoping for at least a 95 so i could get an A in the class. Anyways i sent my essay in and that ends that class for good. And i'm half way through with my philosophy class which is really good and right now i have a 100 in the class so yeah good stuff.
Okay you ready for the best news ever?!?!?!?! okay i never check or use my student email at the college well last night about mid-night i felt like i'd check it just to have something to do. Well guess who i got an email from, Caldwell!! we were suppose to start class on monday but its july 4th and so the school is closed well then wednesday would be our first day but since its only a five week class he says we can't afford to miss our first class so we are meeting this thursday!! I get to go to his class a whole week early i'm excited. I was running around the house screaming waking up th whole world and i didn't care i was excited. anyways yes so life is good only three days actually as of 9am this morning its less then three days.
So anyways take care will post some more later.
Vanessa

home at last

2005-06-18T21:31:00.000-04:00

Just got home from three days of being gone i'm so tired. Thursday I had a doctor's visit it went alot better than i thought it would, see my normal doctor was booked up till august and I can't wait that long so i went to see a nurse practisioner which i thought would be a waste of time, but instead she was the absolute greatest doctor ever!!! very sympathatic and kind and just over all really the best. Well anyways see i was at my wits end because there are only 4 ways to treat what i have and thats a certain medication (can't take it, it makes me sick) a shot of semi strong medication (the side affects are more normerous then the benefits) a shot of really strong medication( great stuff works great but can only stay on it for 3 to 6 months then you have to stay off of it for at least a year) then the fourth solution is to have surgery and have the organ completely removed and that is not an option for me at all, but when i went to see her there is this new medication that is really suppose to be great so she asked me if i'd like to give it a try and i was like sure then she told be how its used and if my mom wasn't there say yes yes we will love to try it i'd probably have ran screaming from the office but so far so good. Anyways also my friend Jill told me of a doctor that helps also some kind of specialist that i've never heard of that really does great with this kind of thing so will be going to see that doctor in 2 or so weeks and hopefully he'll be able to help me. So anyways will post more as things develope, i've got to go just bought a movie Saint and Soldiers its a ww2 movie put out by my church that i've been dying to see for like two years and found it at walmart tonight so i'm going to go watch it take care.

no vacation :-(

2005-06-14T20:44:00.000-04:00

Guess what?? guess whos father has to work himself to death and not go on vacation. Yeah its okay who needs new york this year right. Anyways so how are things going?? I'm doing good, i'm almost always say that. We had relief society tonight it was great I love the church we go to. we were going to the ward and it was aweful but now that we are in this branch its great and since i'm going to be living at the fordhams that means i get to stay in the branch so i'm so excited about that. Anyways Relief society was the newly wed game like the one that use to be on tv and they had three couples that were in it to answer the questions and the Watkins (greatest family ever!) were one of them it was great. and i got to hold gracie tonight :-) I love babies hopefully i'll have four or five one day. OH also i voted in the primary elections for lt governor. I'm a democrat and anytime i can acknowledge that to people i do so very strongly.

I'm getting sick again. I finished treatment about 5 months ago, this heavy duty stuff that put me into a menelpause state for 6 months and let me tell you something hot flashes are no laughing matter lol. No seriously i thought this would all be over with. After my last treatment i was doing great and then for months after i was great no pain no nothing till about a month ago when i started having slight pains in the lower part of my side and i thought it might be nothing and that it might just go away but its been getting worse and more constant and tonight after dinner i thought i was going to pass out it hurt so bad. Momma is calling tomorrow to get me an appointment at the doctors. I know the doctor's office very well alittle to well when i was in my junior year of high school there was one month that i had 27 doctor visits. Yeah and they are not pleasant ones either. So here we go starting all over again. I'm tired of being sick. I've been having this problem since i was about ten and its not fun to say the least. When it gets really bad i can't sit can't lay down, can't exercise, can't drive much and so it gets very irritating very fast. the pain is the worst of it its like a fire of pain that never goes away i can take pain pills but it doesn't get rid of it just takes some of the sharpness away. but from the middle of my front to the middle of my back just hurts i don't know its not really explainable. anytime someone asks me how i am i say oh i'm fine but i'm not you see if someone else is sick i feel bad for them and would do anything for them but with me i just see it as a part of life and there's no reason to mope or wine about it since its not going to fix it and so i just don't talk about it because i don't need pity or to worry people about myself. its been coming on now for a while and i knew i was getting sick and i only told my mom like a couple of days ago simply cause i didn't want to worry her. i don't know its just i like to comfort people and make them happy not put my problems on them. My mom will tell you my entire medical history with out ever thinking about it and it drives me up the wall. I'm a very private person especially when it comes to that kind of thing and i tend to keep it to myself. Mom is always like well i want them to know that there is something wrong and that you aren't just making it up. Me i don't care if the think that i'd rather them think that then to know that i have all this stuff wrong with me. oh well anyways its easier to talk about it on here because i never face judgement from it or anything.

Oh my daddy is coming home this weekend for fathers day its the first time hes been home in over a month. He is at is new store and before mom moves over there he's staying in a hotel so this will be a nice change for him. Mom will really enjoy having him home.
So i made up my mind After the fall semester and after the fordhams come home from belgium i'm going to move back in with my parents and work full time for four or five months and then i'll go off to college for the summer semester where ever i'm going to go. I really want to go to BYU it will be good for me out there. Around friends that have the same values and morals as me. I don't have one friend that does so that will be great. And you never know that certain someone might be there. I'd love to get married i do want to travel a bit though i wouldn't mind being married as long as i'd get to travel. I'm planning on each summer taking a trip abroad, through byu they have some great study abroad programs, england ireland scotland wales greece italy france belgium africa china new zealand anywhere you'd want to go so that will be fun i've always wanted to travel and so there is my chance.

anyways better get going take care.
Vanessa

liverpool funny

2005-06-13T22:55:00.000-04:00

This is the greatest picture ever!! Its of Steven Gerrard of liverpool. its great. Sorry to any liverpool fans this might offend, but i couldn't help it.

best movie ever!!

2005-06-11T22:48:00.000-04:00

Hey just got back from seeing the sisterhood of the traveling pants. BEST MOVIE EVER!!!!! I mean like my favorite movie of all time. I really was only wanting to see it cause it had amber tamblyn in it from joan of arcadia my favorite tv show so i wanted to see her new movie and i'm so glad i did cause just watching the previews i would have been yeah whatever but she was in it so i went to see it and it ended up being soooooo great. and now i want to go to greece. (yes the country not the musical sorry inside joke) but it was a great great amazingly wonderful movie. It makes me sad though cause i don't really have close friends like that i mean like i have friends that its like what have you been up to what movies have you seen lately and thats it its nothing deeper or emotional its just well its just they don't know me at all and i don't get to know them really know them, someone once said that" a great friend is someone that knows the song of your heart and sings it back to you when you've forgotten the words" I don't have anyone to sing me that song i guess cause i've never let anyone hear my song. but i want friends that are there for me you know that really care that understand how you are feeling with out you having to tell them every little detail a friend that will give up everything just to cheer you up and some one i can give up everything to cheer up as well. i don' t know maybe those kind of friends are only a thing of the movies that doesn't exsist. I hope thats not it but i do wish i had someone to hear my song and to get to know their's. Anyways if you haven't see Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants GO SEE IT GREATEST MOVIE EVER!!. Take Care.

Miracles Happen

2005-06-11T10:08:00.000-04:00

My prayers have been answered!!!! Two days ago the phone rang and I answered ( i never answer the phone, i hate hate hate to talk on the phone) and it was sister fordham and she was like have you decided what you going to do during the fall semester? me "um not really no plans yet" her" i mean do you have an apartment yet" me "no" (you see everyone at church has offered me a room at their house to stay in while i'm taking my fall semester but i know i'd be miserable because I would fell like i was always in the way and always imposing on them) well anyways back to the confersation " well me and dave (her husband) are going back to belgium for the fall semester and seeing as you need a place to stay and we don't want to go through the hassel of renting the house again I was think that maybe you'd like to stay in our house we'd pay utilities and we wouldn't pay you to house sit but you wouldn't have to pay rent" me "YES!!!! that would be perfect" see i've been really upset cause i didn't want to go back to the harrisonburg ward with the college students cause i just don't fit in there very well and if i lived at here house i could still go to staunton branch :-) I was so excited. and then we went to her house last night cause her husband is in belgium right now and here daughter went to utah to visit here sister, so shes all alone so we went and played games and stuff it was really fun and she comfirmed that i could live in her house. See it was 100 percent cause she wasn't totally sure that they were going but last night before we got there her husband called and confirmed it so YES I HAVE A PLACE TO STAY ALL FALL SEMSTER AND NO RENT!!!!!! and if that isn't great enough guess who's coming home today???? Brian. yep and so he'll be at church sunday and i'm so excited!!! I haven't seen him for months no and i'm excited. So anyways Miracles do happen and I am more than happy to have them happen. So I was thinking that I'd take the fall semester here then move back in with my parents for a couple of months till summer semester starts at what ever school i'm going to. I really want to go to BYU so i'll apply after fall semester is over to all the schools i'm thinking about and then I go in the summer. so anyways my life at the moment is really!! wonderful, hope everything for everyone reading is great, talk to you later. Take Care.

A baby boy

2005-06-09T11:54:00.000-04:00

its official i am an aunt 6 times over. Connor Andrew was born today. My brother lee just called and let me know that brenda gave birth to my nephew today. I am excited another baby to play with. Anyways just wanted to let everyone know i have to go now we have alot of work to do the home inspector is coming and we are trying to get everything in order. Anyways Another Baby Boy!! Okay my sister-in-laws need to start giving me more nieces i have i am a aunt six times over and only one girl in the whole lot. Anyways I have really got to go big thunder storm coming. Take Care

Mid-term

2005-06-08T14:53:00.000-04:00

I want this Poster!!!!! its of a sailor and his little girl on V-E day I am so tired, I stayed up half the night studding for my mid-term in history 111. So anyways I went to take it this morning and ran into this guy from ww2 class and then saw a sign that said that the library was closed and that F-110 was being used for library functions until the renovations were complete so I left there went all the way back to the building I had just come from and oh no learning lab was still open in the normal library you just had to go up the west staircase. So anyways I finally got to the right place and took my test LOL it took me all of fifteen minutes which is rather silly compared to my normal time taking a test especially a mid-term, so anyways. We have to sign in to take a test at the college and sign out right so went to sign out and my watch said the same time it did when I walked in and I was like I knew it went fast but I know I didn't go that fast so my watch stopped exactly when I signed in that's spooky or just a bad omen but which ever its okay. So on the way down the stairs I saw this guy yes I don't go for blondes at all but he was cute and nice and smiled and said hello and I was like yes sweetheart you are very nice looking but I have bigger fish to fry so I left him there and went to find my dear sweet --------- and he was in class but I knew which one so I walked passed just in case the door might have been left open (which of course it wasn't) so I slowly walked past it thinking he's in there one door separates me from him I almost went running to it to throw it wide open and see him but I'm not insane enough for that so I just continued to walk until I could hear him talking so I stopped and listened for a while. He has a great voice it's a very kind voice (I am so picky when it comes to a guy's voice) his is perfect love it. Its pretty bad when a person's voice can give you the giggles for the rest of the day. I sat on the bench outside of the door for a while just to listen to it. He's teaching American history pt 2 (which he never does) and they must be on ww2 because he was talking about the German's fleets starting towards the pacific. Its not fair all I want is to sit in his class for a while, its okay less then a month 28 more days to be specific. I'm excited more then excited but that's okay.
So anyways when and got some movies and picked up some books from the library (don't ask which ones if you know me well at all you�d know they are history books) and some paper for cranes. Our library is asking people to make yellow cranes for our troops that are in Iraq, we are suppose to have thousand by the time they come back so far me and mom have made like 30 in the last couple of days its nice, I definitely support my troops ;-) Anyways I'm starving I was so nervous about my exam this morning I couldn't eat a thing so I am completely empty so I guess I'll post more later today if I get around to it. Take Care.

Back From Fredericksburg. . . . . AGAIN!!

2005-06-06T17:26:00.000-04:00

So we just got back from fredericksburg today again. I am so sick of having to go there, the drive is getting really old really fast. Anyways we went back to look at our perfect house and dad got to go in the inside and see that for the first time and loved it. So we had to get a pre-approval thing from a morgage company so we can put a bid on the house. So mom is spastic running around getting everything together and we got the letter today for pre-approval so she is trying to get in touch with our real estate agent and everthing. So anyways we sold our house in a day and a half. We put it on the market offically thurday and saturday we got a call that the people that had seen it friday night wanted to buy it. so yeah thats how life goes. Anyways it wasn't a good weekend at all. Long, boring, hot, and just yucky. Aimee called saturday and was like well i'm coming home i'll call you and we can get together tomorrow So i was really looking forward to it and was excited, but she never did I guess she forgot. But that was pretty much the story of the entire weekend.

This all means that I'll be moving into my own apartment in July sometime. Yes I am excited very much so to be on my own with no one telling me what to do all the time, but to tell you the truth I am also scared absolutely senseless. I'm not nervous about find a place or a job but more of just not having someone to run to evertime I need something or want someone to talk to or whatever. My Mom and I are extremely close and it will be strange not having here around. So I am a bit nervous about the whole thing. But I do think I have the right to be. Its a big step and I'm not a hundred percent sure I'm ready to take that step. IT's all --------'s fault, if it wasn't for him I'd probably have agreed to move with my parents, but oh no has to make me stay doesn't he. I did censor his name out for a reason. Maybe eventually I'll give him nickname so it will be some name and not just ------. But anyways good news is wednesday is my midterm so I get to go to my college and maybe run into him :-) I'm aweful arn't I. But so yeah first time I have ever looked forward to a mid-term thats for sure.

In other news guess who feels like a completely out of date. . . . . . guessed yet?. . . . . . . no guess again. . . . . . yes me. I watch fox sports world news and skysports news every single day so how in the bloody world did i miss two babies??????? today i was checking out all the Manchester United websites and groups that i belong to and see a picture of paul scholes carying his NEW BABY AROUND!!! WHAT NEW BABY. and all the way back in february. I have no ideal he and his wife had a third child how insane right. Well i didn't know what it's name was or even what gender it was so i went hunting on the internet to find out. You think i found out oh no but what i did find is that Roy Keane and his wife have a new baby girl!!!!!!!!!!! Roy Keane one of my biggest abosolute favorite heros in life has a fifth child and guess who just has no clue in the world about any thing and i can't find any more information on either of the two new babies. NONE usually you can find all kinds of info and pics and footballer's babies but i have discovered none! anyways take care will post more later.

acid and sleep do not mix

2005-05-31T03:57:00.000-04:00

I went to bed with heart burn and billowing piles of acid and i had a dream that first scared me them made me jumpy and now i just can't sleep and its 4 in the morning and i've been up for an hour or so. moral of the story fix acid before going to sleep. Yeah so i dreamed that we were looking at a house to buy and it was the perfect house and then it said it was haunted and i'm like what why would they actually list that if they want to sell it and then i turned the tv on and they had one of those documentry thingies about this house and it was REALLY haunted and scary and the guy's head exploded and he lived through it and now he just had the bones for a head no skin or anything and so i woke up and was scared to death and then i turned the tv on to get rid of the silence and now i'm wide awake. so yeah nice isn't it. and i'm sunburnt and i itch two more things that do not go together. Yesterday we worked in the yard cutting grass and getting things ready to sale the house and worked in the garden and my face, back of the neck, and arms are really sunburnt. My nose was already sunburnt from the weekend but now the rest of my face matches.
This weekend we went to visit my dad in fredericksburg. He was transfered and now is living in a hotel and brother's jared's birthday was this week and so my parents were going to take him out to dinner and richmond is almost to fredericksburg so we figured we'd spend the weekend with my dad. so anyways me and jared DO NOT GET ALONG AT ALL!!!!!!! so to get out of it i wanted to go to washington DC. so i asked aimee if she'd like to go and it was a really nice time. we saw the holocaust musuem (for my third time) and the ww2 mormurial i had never seen it and it was really moving and i cried. I was really good at biting my lip and not crying but then people had brought gifts for family members that had died in the war and i lost it. anyways so after that we saw the FDR mormurial (one of my all time hero). LOVE HIM. Then we got on the Metro and rode to Arlington Cemetary, to see the IWO JIMA mormurial and it took forever walking to get there, and so by the time we saw that me and Aimee simply didn't have any energy to see the cemetary which i was upset about its my most favorite thing in all of washington to see. but when we were walking past it you could see two fresh graves and one fixing to be used and it was really really sad and then when we were on our way to the Iwo Jima Mormurial we heard the guns go off during a funeral and it was the absolute most solumn noise i think i have ever heard. I know that i go on about marines and how good they look in uniform, but sincerely i have the upmost love and respect for any soldier in the military. And to see arlington its moving beyond words. To see all the men and women who have willingly given their lives and dedication for their country its a debt that can never be repaid to those serving or their families. I can not imagine what a person must go through when they lose a loved one that way. I truely can not. I still want a Marine though :-) .
Anyways its four in the morning and i think i might try to go back to sleep. I have a doctor's visit early and i might go job hunting. I have to find a job so i can get an apartment before mom and dad sell the house and move out. Aimee has a co-worker that is coming to JMU (poor girl) and she didn't get into a dorm so Aimee sent me her email so i got in touch with her to see if she'd like to share an apartment and so i'm waiting to hear from her. Anyways i'm going to go now. Take Care.

2005-05-30T22:55:00.001-04:00

smilely zander

2005-05-30T22:55:00.000-04:00

and more

2005-05-30T22:54:00.000-04:00

more zander

2005-05-30T22:53:00.000-04:00

Zander Pictures (my nephew)

I Wonder

2005-05-24T21:50:00.000-04:00

I was sitting here wondering about choices i have to make in life like what school to go to what to major in how hot my marine husband will be (that last part was just a joke really not wondering about it) . When to leave my beloved valley, I mean i'll be here till december but i have to decide if i want to stay till late spring and go to a summer semester first at what ever college i transfer into. I'm scared. I mean they are huge choices and decisions and i don't want to make a mistake. I wonder if Titus, Alexander, or Constantine were ever nervous before riding into a great battle or became scared over a great decision when ruling their empires. Did the great men of history worry about things like we do. Like did Napolean have nerves before each battle while he was conquering the world, well maybe he should have had nerves before invading russia, and saved us all the downfall of greatness. (Most people hate napolean but i absolutely adore him, over the span of history he is probably one of my biggest heros and most favorite person to learn about except for ww2 of course.) but really do you think he was ever afraid. The man was undefeated and invincible for so long do you think he had problems making a choice in life. I don't know its just i guess sometimes i worry ALOT over things that i can't help or don't have to chose yet. Like When do i want to leave well i don't have to decide till like november but it keeps me up at night thinking about it. I love the words to the song i posted in the last post "cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass glued to the table no one can find a rewind button so cradle your head in your hands and breathe. . . . . . . . just breat" it fits very well with my fears you know it doesn't matter if i make a mistake i can't change it or go back in time to fix it so just deal with it. right?? I don't know just getting some of my anxiety out before i go to bed so maybe for once i won't wake up thinking about how long i have to go to school to get my doctorines (phd) or where i'll get it from or where in the world am i going to get the money to pay for it or . . . . . . . . . . . . . . well you all get the idea. no if i don't wake up worried about that i will be worring about a certain guy lol yeah at least one person reading this will know who that is. anyways my problem is i stay busy during the day and then when i go to bed there is nothing else to block my worries so the get to rolling around in my head and I can't stop them and they keep me up and then the next morning i'm irriatable and tired and miserable. Anyways Take Care.

Breathe

2005-05-24T21:22:00.000-04:00

"Breathe (2 AM)" Anna Nalick

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,

In May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day", he sat down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
oh breathe, just breathe.

new muse video

2005-05-20T17:15:00.000-04:00

Finially Muse has a new video on. Muse is a great amazning wonderful British rock band. LOVE THEIR MUSIC!! They are really different and unique which is always cool. They've been around for a long time but only ran across them accidently about a year ago. was looking for something online and saw a download by them, never heard of them before so i listened to it and have been in love with their music ever since. If you haven't heard of them you should really check them out great great great band. Take Care.

Home at last

2005-05-19T17:34:00.000-04:00

So my parents are moving to fredricksburg and I went house hunting with my mom and it answered alot of questions i've been having. See i'll be moving out soon into my very own apartment and yes i'm excited but i'm so scared. It will be strange and hard to get use to and its a scary thought being completely one hundred percert on your own, so i've been having second thoughts maybe i'd just go move in with my parents in fredricksburg and go to school over there, well i found out the answer to that question ABSOLUTELY NOT A CHANCE IN THIS WORLD. I hated it i don't ever want to go back. See I lived for fourteen years from the time i was four till i was eighteen in a small dumb retarded town of warsaw, I HATED IT, but when i found out we were moving all of a sudden i couldn't leave warsaw it was home, all the memories. But when we went to visit harrisonburg for the first time it was the most amazing feeling, its hard to explain it was so much like going home. but seriously it was so much more than that it was . . . . . it was. . . . i don't know how to explain it, it was just a most calming peaceful feeling, but when we went to fredricksburg(a city close to warsaw where i grew up and knew very well, and was use to being in) and it was like a nightmare the minute i got there i wanted to go home. I wanted cows and horses and mountains and open beautiful fields and it was aweful. It was like being stuck in a miserable place for three days and no escape. The only good thing about the whole trip was i was going to meet aimee cuz she only lives like fourty minutes from there but she had to cancel, again. Anyways well i live there are hardly any bugs, we got out in fredricksburg and there are mayflys and masquitos and gnats and every sort of nasty thing you could think of, back in warsaw i'd go to check the mail and have twenty (no kinding) masquito bites by the time i got in the house and in the two years that we've lived here i haven't had one. I love it here. its funny cuz the whole two years here i've been wanting to go anywhere else and now i have an option to go i won't leave if you paid me. Everytime the real estate lady would say something good about that area i would think to myself yeah but we have better at home. like i said something about a willow tree and she said oh we have the loveliest weeping willows around here and i'm thinking to myself "woman if you could see the willow down from my post office it would put that comment to shame and you couldn't find a prettier one anywhere" and then she was like oh its such a pretty drive the trees are so green this time of year and me " the trees green?? you have got to be out of your ever loving mind, green you don't know green man when we left home it was so green so beautiful and so green the trees at home are a thousand shades greener" it was like that the entire time everything she said i knew we had better at home and mom did too. See mom doesn't want to move she wants to stay in her mountains and in the valley she has no desire to move, but she'd do anything and everything in the world for my dad. The only good thing about the entire trip was we pased Fort A.P. Hill (army base) and anouther army base :-) i prefer a marine but i never had problems looking at army men in uniform either.

But while we were there someting (i'm not at all sure what) reminded me of my granddaddy. I loved my granddaddy more than life it self last month it was the fith year aniversarry of his death. Its hard but these last couple of days i couldn't get him off my mind and i was on the verge of tears the whole time. you see Granddaddy was the most amazing man ever, and the greatest story teller, but his stories were true, like this one time when he was in school Like middle school age, him and a couple of friends decided they were going to skip school and so they went off and climbed a mountain to explore or do what ever boys do and they were sitting around and it was cold outside so they lit a fire and ended up burning down the entire mountain everything out it was GONE!!! It was such a great story, or the one when he got mad at this guy in for some reason or another and went and collected every piece of dog poop he could put it in a paper bag and went to this guy's house lit the bag on fire put it on his front porch and knocked and ran. So of course when the guy saw the bag he started stomping the fire out and dog poop flew from one end to the other of the pourch and all over the guy. And my granddaddy's laugh could fill a thousand rooms, he had the greatest laugh. When he would start laughing I couldn't help but laugh along rather it was funny or not or even if i didn't know what he was laughing at i just couldn't stop laughing. I loved him so much.

Anyways that was my last couple of days, maybe will post later but am so tired and my allergies are crazy, oh yeah my allergies weren't bad at all the last couple of years but as soon as my foot stepped out the car there my eyers started burning and turning red my nose was running and my though itched and burned the entire time!! not going back not going back never ever going back. Anyways will post maybe tomorrow, Take Care.

P.S. My best piece of advise for life in any situation at any age and in any walk of life is, Don't look down and don't look back. If it makes since good, if not than thats probably good too. Anyways if it helps i'm glad. One day if your lucky you will find a use for it i promise.

I'm So Bored!!

2005-05-16T18:45:00.000-04:00

I'm so bored!!! I can't drive, I can't walk much, I can't get my foot wet at all, and I've watched every decent movie in this house. I'm stuck at home bored to death. I can't wait till school starts again (isn't that sick) its just while i'm in school there is always something due or fixing to be due or assignments of one kind or anougher, if you've never been in college you have no idea what the work load is like. But if feel guilty when i'm not in school because i always feel like there is something important i'm not doing, like some paper that i'm suppose to be writing and i'm not, when of course there isn't. When i'm in school i really have no spair time at all its like i go to school three or four days a week and then the rest of the week is simply just not enough time to get everything done. I know some people do not believe it when a college student says i have no time but we really don't. Its not like you can say oh hey can i have off monday next week, you simply do not have that ability. and So for four months at a time you do not get the chance to do much out of school, well not if you want good grades. But anyways so i miss school i miss learning and keeping myself busy. School starts Next Monday and I can't wait. I'm not taking a full load this semester though, i'm only taking three classes which will be a nice break from last semester it was insain, but then fall i'm taking the most credits i've ever taken before and am going to school five days a week. But i'm looking forward to it.

So I'm starting to get stuff for my apartment, haven't gotten the apartment yet but am getting redding for it. Like if we are in wal-mart i talk mom into getting something i could use, i figure that if i start now and get something here and then something there it won't be so hard or such a pain when it comes. We are getting the house redding to sale, and its sad really really sad. Mom doesn't want to move at all i can tell and she thinks she'll be miserable when they move. Me and Mom have always been really close and the dearest friends and she's going to have a really hard time leaving me behind, especially me being her baby and last child to leave the nest. I feel really bad for her. I can't imagine what she is going through. But anyways so i'm going through my room and cleaning out everything and say well do i need this, want this, or be able to use it in my new apartment. I've filled rather a lot of trash bags full today. its really sad. Its like i'm having to grow up and fast. I was thinking of moving in with a roommate but then i'm worried about what kind of person they would be you know, so i was thinking about moving maybe with someone i knew but most of them already have their own appartments and their own roommates and sarah is going to idaho next semester so yeah, and i doubt Aimee would want to come out here and anyways she might be going on a mission so that wouldn't work at all.

Oh oh yes we interupt this message because i just reminded myself of something, do you invite yourself to someone's house?? NO you don't its rude. So how should you be expected to go to someone's house if you haven't been invited. So this week aimee was suppose to come right so she had to cancel cause of the doctor's visit or whatever so she posted on her blog that she wished i'd come visit her and you know what she never ever invites me. She has invited me twice in the last 9 months once for her new year's eve party and once for her birthday and you know what i went both times. and then she also said i never can come to richmond when she wants me to, i've asked her more times to meet me in richmond and she has always said no or she can't or she's busy, and the two most recent time first was suppose to meet her in richmond but then it started snowing really hard and we got like and inch of snow in and hour and i had to call and cancel after driving half way there and then last time she asked me to come to days before my finials in school, she knew i was uptight about the history exam and really on my last nerves and trying to study as hard as i could, how was i suppose to go why did she even have the carelessness to ask, what kind of friend asks you to go to the movies when you are in that situation and then holds it against you. Anyways I had surgery on my foot a week ago i can barely handle sitting in a car long enough to go to the doctors when my mom is driving how does she expect me to have the ability to drive. anyways i don't care its getting on my nerves.

2005-05-15T21:14:00.000-04:00

Damian Again lol Love the hat

Damian Lewis

2005-05-15T12:22:00.000-04:00

This is Damian Lewis, he plays Richard Winters in Band of Brothers and he is so Hot. I found a much better picture of him and was going to put it on but website wouldn't allow it. Not very nice if you ask me. Anyways so finished watching band of brothers for the first time the other day(absolutely loved it, am so glad i bought it) and it was so great but i kept thinking that this guy looked really familiar and so i looked him up on the net and I have never seen him in anything actually isn't that strange, i guess he just looks like someone else i suppose, but the funniest thing is he's british. A movie about american army hero's during ww2 in easy company and one of the lead characters is british. Anyways he's my next huge crush. love the red hair and the eyes.

So anyways in other news Aimee was suppose to come for a few days this week which would have been nice, since i haven't seen her in a long time but in normal fashion she had to cancel (doctor's appointment) its okay she would have been bored cuz i can't do much with my foot and all oh well no use crying over spilled milk right.

Oh saw Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy last thursday, i was waiting to see it with Aimee but i figure if i did i'd be renting it after it came out on video so i went ahead and saw it. It was great!!! I was laughing so hard it hurt. And the accents and british cocney was brilliant loved it. GO SEE IT!!!! I won't say much about it (other than it was abosoluetly great) Cuz i don't want to ruin it for any of you poor people who haven't seen it yet. But its great you all will love it so go see it soon.

Getting my stitches taken out tuesday i'm so excited. I've started walking on both feet and with out the crutches but my stitches burn and the side of my foot hurts really bad from walking on the side of it. So it will be great to get to walking with out pain again. Anyways must be on my way will post some more later, Take Care!

Feel like i'm in someone else's life

2005-05-10T21:22:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it the weirldest thing in the world happened today. I checked my grades online and guess what i really feel like there was a huge mistake and something was messed up or something. I made straight A's !!!!!!! yes me i made straight A's what does that mean, well it means i got an A in Caldwell's WW2 class but it is the first time in the history of my educational career that i've made all A's. I'm am beside myself with joy, parents have gone to get surprise celebration food!! I'm so excited i'm going to be in newspaper when grades come out in that and i'll be all A's. lol lol me all A's you have no idea how shocked i was. When i found out i had an a in philosophy i was like oh no way, but then i knew there was no way i'd get anything more than a low b in theatre and i was just so stunned when i found out i was happy i was sitting down that is for sure. Anyways I'm celebrating tonight lol Take Care!

Being Replaced

2005-05-10T13:31:00.000-04:00

I am being replaced. Yes indeed i know i am and it doesn't bother me very much except the fact that the person that has found the replacement is sticking my nose in it and on purposes to bother me and it doesn't bother me except the fact that the person wants to bother me. No i really don't care in fact I think i'll rather enjoy being free from the aweful person. We have no need or want to be near each other anyways, we are complete opposites and I have no need or want to be there anymore. Having a replacement is a rather liberating thing actualy. I don't like "me" kind of people (if you don't know what i mean i mean the kind of people that only think about themselves. like should i help someone out with that well only if i'm getting a bennifit from it, or should i do something that will affend or hurt someone else sure why not if i enjoy it what do i care if it hurts someone or not) and to have one less "me" person to deal with will be wonderful. yes i'll enjoy being replaced. they have been looking for a replacement for sometime, keeping me on part of the time just to hurt me when they found that replacement and i am surely happy they have found it and now i am free.

Bored to Death

2005-05-08T20:19:00.000-04:00

Hey so I will go ahead and warn you if there is any spelling mistakes in this I'm not typing it. LOL not that I could spell better. I'm having a friend type this for me while we're on the phone. I'm stuck on the couch right now bored to Death and in more pain than I have ever gone through!!

So how did surgery go?? well this is how it went, friday I woke up at 4:30am and had to get up and get ready to go. For the first and only time in my life I wore pajamas in public. so we got to the hospital it was still dark and i was freaking out and my nerves were going insain. So we got there and everyone was so sweet and so this one lady escorted me back to my prep room where I got ready. I had to give a urine sample to YUCK, women are no good at that they always end up with more on their hands than they get in the jar. Anyways so I'm getting my foot opperated on right well i had to take all my clothes of underwear and bar included, how embarrassing. Anyways so after putting the gown on and getting all ready me and mom had to wait in this room for like an hour, I was bored out of my mind. But then an orderly came and got me and rolled my bed to the room right out of the operating room where I had to wait for a while and all these really hot guy orderlies kept walking up and down and I kept thinking to myself they aren't as great as _______ (censored for name sake) so finially one of the nurses came out and introduced herself and a young girl who was about 18 or 19 who was learning to be a nurse and was going to sit in on the surgery. Then the anesthesiologist came by and talked to me (he was jewish and awesome i love love love jewish, not personally jewish but i love them) about what we were going to do and then my doctor came and talked to me and put her initials on my foot with a sharpie and then they roled me in and i had to get over on the operating table and there were two extremely hot guys in the room and so when they started putting thoses thingyings they use to monitor your heart and stuff my boobs are hanging out and i'm going hey there are hot guys in here can you put those back in anyways thats the last thing i remembered. I guess i passed out before they put the sleeping stuff in me. Next thing i know is waking up in the recovery room. When i woke up there was no pain no nothing and i just kept talking to the 18 year old girl about everything. It was like all of a sudden i wasn't shy and i kept telling all the nurses how absolutely nice they were and how wonderful they were. I'm sure they thought it was just the pain medication or something but they really were the nicest nurses i have ever met. anyways so then they roled me back to my room and my mommie was waiting for me :-). i was so happy to see her!!! and my foot still didn't hurt. So after awhile the physical therapist came in to adjust my crutches for me and show me how to use them and i had to pee so she took me to the restroom and my mom and her were like right behid me and she asked if i wanted anyone to stay with me in the restroom and my response NOOOOOO!!!!!!. LOL and I meant it. Anyways so then all of a sudden my foot woke up and I can't even begin to tell you how bad it hurt i meant i was in so much pain i've never felt such pain in my life. So the orgininal plan was that i'd spend about an hour in the recovery room and then i'd go home well i'd been there about fourty-five minutes before my foot woke up, well the nurse was like on a scale of one to ten how bad is the pain and i said 8 so she gave me a pain pill and made me wait thirty minutes and came back and was like okay now how is the pain and i was like a 7, couse sincerely the pain was barely even touched by the pill. So she called my doctor and the doctor told her to give me another thing for pain in my iv and the nurse was like this will make you a little sleepy, ten minutes later i fell asleep and slept for like 2 hours non-stop. and i felt so bad for my mom having to stay there forever, i was bored out of my mind and i could sleep through most of it my poor mom couldn't.

anyways so after awhile i felt better and so about 2:30 we got to go and mommie bought me luch to take home from kfc, couse i hadn't eaten anything since midnight the morning before. so when we got home mom checked the mail and there was some Nazi money i had ordered and a paper that said we had something at the post office to pick up so daddy went to get it and it was big package for me and something me and daddy had ordered for mom for mothers day well it turns out everything was shipped separtly so we only got one thing we had ordered her but she absolutely loved it. and me i got Band of Brothers I still haven't seen it i've either been asleep or not in the mood to watch it. I have been reading a book about auschwiz. really great book.but anyways after getting it i was so happy i was screaming and hugging it and kissing it lol yes i am insain or it could be the medication. So anyways then my pain pill was due and it knocked me out and not the pain. when i woke up i was in so much pain i could barely stand it and i was boohooing and you want to know what i was honestly thinking. Jesus I'm so sorry I can barely handle this and you had to go through this in the garden and everything else ever faced and i started crying just thinking about it. Yes that is honestly what i was thinking. so anyways that night mom gave me a bell to ring anytime i needed to get up or needed anything and every four hours exactly when my pill was due i'd wake up having to go to the restroom despartely. 1:30 and 5:30 and i felt so guilty for making mom get up. anyways so i was in so much pain i was in tears and could barely stumble to the restroom, so the doctor called to see how i was doing and i told her so she called a different pain medication in for me at my local phamachy and it is so wonderful!!! this pain medication is so much better and it gets rid of alot more of the pain. So i was so bored i took a picture of my foot with my cell phone and emailed to my best friend Aimee and asked her to call me later cause i was so bored , but i guess she was busy or couldn't or whatever. So anyways i have been stuck on the cauch for three solid days. But today i finially got to take a bath but i had to hang my foot out of the bath tub while i tryed to take a bath it was not comfortable to say the least but at least i'm clean and i smell alot better. Tomorrow i have to be up early to go see the doctor and have the bandages taken off my foot. I'm not looking forward to it i don't want to see my foot i'm scared. I missed church today i really love church. I love the staunton branch its so spiritual and everyone is so lovely and nice. and the watkins were giving talks today :-(:::: i love the watkins and i wanted to hear the talks. Anyways so President Wright gave us May 29th to talk so i'm not sure if i'm going to or not, probably not. I'm too shy. anyways so i have to go got an early day tomorrow oh should be getting my grades tomorrow ?? maybe i'm hopping anyways i already know i got an "A" in philosophy i didn't deserve and A what so ever but i guess i laughed at all his dumb jokes all semester so he gave me one anyways, i don't know i was one of his favorite students so i guess thats why i got it, its kinda of not fair though it makes it a depressive A if i don't deserve it you know what i mean?? anyways got to go pain pill is due soon :-)-. so will post latter maybe i'll even do it myself, and let you know how the doctors visit goes. Take Care.

Will be gone for a while

2005-05-05T20:12:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone hope you all are doing great, well this isn't a goodbey post just a won't be posting for awhile post. I'm going into surgery tomorrow morning at around 7:30 and i have to be at the hospital at 6 so i have to be up at least by 4:30 to be there on time. I'm really nervous but I'm sure it'll be fine. The worst part of surgery is always waking up after it and being really out of sorts and not knowing where you are or whats going on. Its like for the first five minutes you have no memory at all, like your lost and unsure of anything. The first time I had a major operation at a hospital i woke up and was scared to death cuz the guy is like we are going to put you to sleep and whats going to happen is i inject this stuff (its freezing by the way in the room) and you will start to get drowsy and feel really sleepy and . . . . . . . . . I don't know what the rest he said was cause i just passed out. The next thing I remember was waking up in a strange room with complete strangers all around me, and i was scared and so what did I do i started crying for my momma (i'm like 17 at the time lol yeah) and the nurse was really mean and hateful and was like you are too old for that crap you don't need to be calling for your mom at your age. If i was in any different state of being i'd gotten up and slapped her so hard her head would have spun. I was in pain and scared and had no idea what in the world was going on all i wanted was something that was reassureing or made me feel safe and she tells me i'm too old for that. anyways so i'm rather nervous about tomorrow i'm not sure what to expect or how i'm going to feel afterwards so yeah really scared out of my wits. lol mom was picky on me and said that when I woke up I'd be calling for my college professor, and you know my luck i would in front of everyone just start crying for him. lol lol yeah that would take the grand prize in embarrassing. Anyways so Take care everyone and be safe and happy and make the world a better place while i'm passed out on the couch as a cripple. and i'll post when ever i start feeling better and let y'all know how everything goes. Take Care.

P.S. 2 months 1/2 day till second five weeks of summer semester.

Last day of Semester Finials

2005-05-04T09:19:00.000-04:00

I love this Picture United States Marines in uniform and with their white pants. I do prefer the white pants over the blue ones. Yes God Bless our Troops. :-)

Anyways so my last finial is today, Business Law, its not going to be that bad and its open book so I can not get a bad grade in it. No seriously I have enjoyed the class a lot. I like learning about politics and laws and so forth. Anyways so I have to be at school at twelve to take it, so I was hoping to maybe run into a certain somebody while I was there, on a complete accident of course. If not it will be two months and two days till I get to see him. Yesterday I was on the verge of tears constantly, from thinking about it. I miss him so much already and its been less then two days. Im am completely in love with him and for once the guy knows I exist. Anyways so I guess it will either be today or two months but I will see him eventually.

Oh while we are on the topic of school Im taking my books back from this semester to sale back and get some money for them. Im not sure I want to take one of my World War Two books back I have really enjoyed it but I might just for some money, to pay off my credit card where Ive put the new books on it. Yesterday I was on the bookstore website and I put all the books I needed to get together so I could just pay for them online and then pick them up today and the total was like 301.oo dollars and Im like youve got to be kidding me then I decided to drop the computer course I was taking and my books were only 154.oo go figure. Anyways so Im going to pick them up today after Ive sold mine back so mom will not have to do it while Im laid up with my foot after surgery.

I am getting a little nervous about surgery. Before I was not nervous at all it was just oh come on lets get it over with, like anything you wait for you know. But yesterday the nurse from the hospital called for a little phone interview before surgery and now Im rather scared. I dont know I think its simply not knowing what to expect and not knowing how bad its going to hurt and for how long its going to hurt. Its not really the pain I think I can handle that okay its just not knowing whats going to happen that is frightening me. You know. Anyways

Momma bought me a lot of pajama pans yesterday at Belks cause the nurse said that they would be easier to get over the bandage, I love surgery LOL. No not really I love getting spoiled, we were originally going to just get one pair but then I found a bunch that I absolutely loved and while I was trying to make up my mind momma was like just take them all youre going to need them anyways. So I was like okay, yes imagine me turning down free clothes.

So anyways, I have a lot more to post but not enough time I have got to get ready for school I cant be late for my finial exam that would just be embarrassing, so I guess I will post latter today or sometime soon, I have got so much on my mind that I need to get out and no one really to talk to about the subject so I will talk to you all soon. Take Care

World War Two has ended

2005-05-02T22:19:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, I've been studing for my World War Two finial exam. Yeah it has really stressed me out not as bad as the mid-term but enough to give me a few ulcers. I get really yuck huge ulcers in my mouth when I get stressed out. And its not just the test I was upset about but I really loved that class and enjoyed the teacher and everything and WW2 is my absolute favorite thing in history to study. Anyways so on the way to school I listened to Monday Morning by Maria Mena cause it was perfect for the moment. So i got there like fifteen minutes early and had to sit in the hall for ever but not before going to the bathroom to fix my hair (i'm so lame). So got to class and Caldwell finially came in and guess what he let us use our books and notes, yeah love him he's the greatest. I think I did rather well on the test maybe an A i'd like an A. Anyways so while the test is going on when ever a person would bring up a test he'd say like oh enjoyed having you in class or oh your going to vmi good luck and so forth so as people are getting up to go i'm start thinking i'm one of the last people there and i get really embarrassed and flustered. So both guys behind me get up and leave the guy beside me and the girl behind him are already gone and finially logan on my other side gets up and leaves and so when he leaves i chance a look over my shoulder and the whole back of the room is full so then i felt dumb. So then I get up to turn in my test and a paper we had to fill out about the class and so I turned the paper in and then walked over slowly to his desk to turn the test in and he kinda had his back to me and i'm upset cause its the last day of class and i won't get to talk to him and i'm so not happy to say the least. So i put my test down and turn to go and he jerks around really quickly and points at me and i'm like YESSS he saw me. and hes like "Vanessa i'm going to see you in the summer right. . . . . . . . . . . and the fall too? " and i'm like blushing and all weak at the knees and i'm say "yeah" with a nice smile. and hes says " well the bookstore should have the book for the summer semester but if they don't just email me and i'll get you the isp for it" and me "okay thanks" him " you do know summer semester is alot different" me "yeah i know" but while we are talking i'm looking at him in the eyes think my goodness you have the absolutely the most beautiful eyes God ever gave any one (the are like a stoney sky blue color absolutely perfect) and while i'm thinking this i'm still pay attention to what hes saying. LOL i'm good at multi-tasking. Anyways so i walked on a cloud for like all afternoon. and then i listened to You're the only one by Maria Mena on the way home cause it fit perfectly.

anyways so when i got home mom is on the computer and not looking happy. and i'm like what are you doing and she says how was the test and i'm like whats going on and so i find out my dad is being transfered to fredricksburg and that i'll be here for summer semester and then will have to drop fall semester. Yeah not happening so i politely told her i wasn't going. So after surgery i'm getting a job and appartment shopping. first time on my own, its scary but was bound to happen right. I'm twenty and far more ready to be on my own than i could ever express. My mom has already broken down in tears over it two or three times today alone. lol. anyways will post more later, take care.

Taking a Break

2005-04-23T17:04:00.000-04:00

Taking a break from school work, actually using this as an excuse to take a break. I'm working on journals for philosophy that have to be 400 words each. We have seven different groups and we have to do three of them. So I picked DeTocqueville/Thoreau, Bakunin, and Hitler. Hitler was a given anyways so the professor gives us a question or two for each of them and we have to answer each in the Journal and then submit the three by wednesday. I keep putting of working on them but I wish I would just sit down and do them so i don't have to worry about them anymore. I'm not lazy but I do put things off till the last minute, and I do have a very short attention span and so when I'm working on it the at the last minute I find i usually do a much better job, but I end up working myself into having an ulcer. which i have plenty of right now i think last time i counted I had 12 in my month. LOL lovely isn't it. Oh and i have a five page paper due friday on "what I've learned in theatre class" that is going to be hard and i'll have to bluff my whay through it, because in all honesty I didn't learn a whole lot.

The above book is one Caldwell brought to class one day and it looked really good so went to barnes and nobles to get it and it was like twenty-five dollars so I ordered it off half.com and only paid like $4 all together including shipping. I'm really looking forward to it, I read a little of it in his class and now i'm dieing to be able to read the whole thing. He shouldn't do things like that I love to read and i haven't had anytime between school work and what i have to read for classes so I'm stocking up on books for my two weeks of rest and relaxation after surgery. So everytime he brings a book in i write the title and author's name down and let me tell you the margins of my notebook are full. He brings in like two or three different books a day. The guy loves to read one day he brought in this book that was like over a thousand pages and hes like its and easy read could do it in one weekend. And i'm like are you crazy or just don't have a life. lol and i'm like yeah well i could fix that :-) nahh just kidding anyways so yeah i'm excited really looking forward to reading it.

So I want to go to washington D.C. now that I've taken this course on World War Two and i want to see all the ww2 things. some i have already seen rather a few times but i want to go again. these are the ones i'm planning on seeing
1)FDR memorial
2) Holocaust Museum
3) Arlington Cemetry
4) Iwo Jima Memorial
5)World War Two Memorial
I love World war two its the most fasinating thing in the world to me it really is. Its okay I really am just a complete history nerd. Oh i'm also bidding on Band of Brothers DVD set its normally like 120 but i found it for 10 and then 10 shipping so hopefully i'll win it. I've really got to stop spending money, its all caldwell's fault if it wasn't for him i would have never realized that it wasn't rated "R" and so it wouldn't matter and i wouldn't have gotten that book either so yeah its all his fault and i blame it solely upon him. Oh and guess what He still hasn't given us our papers from last week back monday he said oh you're probably get them back wednesday, wednesday comes and no papers, so friday when he normally gives them out still no papers, but its okay i completely forgive him. We had a great class friday and he was wearing a great shirt and hes to amazing to be upset with. Oh well right what can I say for myself. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . not a whole lot i'm afriad.

So me and my mother went to see Twelth Night at the Blackfriar's playhouse. It was amazing and so funny, but in the beginning it had a few more adultish moments that made me really uncomfortable but other than that it was great, and i got to buy a program from one of the actors not topper but fred arsenault, it was great. anyways so wonderfull play highly recommend it.

Oh Oh and last night I finially got to watch Hotel Rwanda (sorry if i misspelled it) it was so amazing. It's a true story of these two african tribes living in the same country and it eventually erupts into a civil war and the one tribe goes around killing everyone of the other tribe they can and the hotel assitant manager sames like 1200 people and risks his life over and over again to save them, and he was a member of the tribe that was incharge so he really didn't have to do anything. but like over a million people were killed during the genecide. It was such a sad movie but so good. I LOVED LOVED LOVED it!!!! It was an amazing movie and it showed that even though life is sad and there is evil in the world that there are good people and heros can rise in the smallest person. I loved the guy the lead character, to watch him and to see what he went through was so moving and I cried through most of the movie. Espeacially in two scenes one he and his wife are talking at the hotel and he tells her that if ever the other tribe's soldiers came to the hotel to kill that she was to take the kids to the roof and jump off so that the soldiers wouldn't be able to be the ones to kill them and i cried so hard because could you imagine having to face that one day commiting suicide and leading your kids to commit suicide to escape such a horrid death. But then he leaves and comes back and the evil soldiers are there rounding everyone up and then the good (well not good but better) soldiers come and they stop them and so he runs to the roof and looks down and in the bushes are what looks like his wife and kids and he starts screaming his wife's name and i just went to boo wooing and then the woman looks up from the bushes and its someone else and they were just hiding and then he runs around looking for her and he goes into this one room and she has taken the children and hidden in the bathtub and i just started crying even harder. anyways its an amazing film. You should see it I won't tell you how it ends cause i don't want to spiol it for you. So do go see it.

Anyways I think that this is the longest post i have ever written so I'll let you all digest it and I'll talk to you later. Take Care.

P.S. I know that people are annoying sometimes and things don't always go the way you want but do remember to love everyone regardless. Hate is a ugly and evil emotion, it is the most perverted, currupt, and evil thing in this world, it will destroy anyone who takes it in their heart. It will lead to the ruin of the entire world one day. So if you want to have a joy in your life beyond discription learn to love eveyone you come into contact with. Learn to love with all your heart and to forgive and I promise you that you'll live a much better life.

kiss the war goodbye

2005-04-23T08:43:00.000-04:00

I bought this poster last night. Its of a sailor and a nurse after the second world war has ended. I love this picture I always have but I could never find the name of it. I thought I'd get it frame it and hang it in my room or apartment (after I move out) until I finish school, then when I start teaching I want to put it in my office. I'd be teaching history and its about history so yeah :-) Anyways I was thinking the other day I know that you get paid more at a major university but I thought it would be alot more fun to teach at a community college. You get to know the students better and have alot more interaction with them. I don't know, I have really enjoyed my community college its been great. Really gave me the opprotunity to check out different things and find what I liked the best and what i'd like to major in and do you know so I'd like to do that its awesome. Anyways Take Care. oh P.S. i want to buy the Band of Brothers so when I have surgery on my foot I'll have something to do but its like $120 so i think not. But then i saw it on ebay where I can get it for like ten bucks or so maybe i'll get it anyways. okay so talk to you all later. Take Care

GOOD AND BAD NEWS

2005-04-19T19:48:00.000-04:00

Well i have two things of good news and on thing of bad news okay so lets start with the bad news, Fred is moving away in june :-( fred is this guy that works for my dad that is absolutely hot!!! and he's from belguim and has this amazing french accent that makes him even better but his wife has been accepted at VCU and so they will be moving in june. about the same time we go on vacation so it's not going to be happy.
Good news okay my other dog sage went down and got tested for heartwarms and it came back negative. second good news i went to the doctors today and had more x-rays done and for once the very first time in my life the doctor believed me when i said something was wrong my first set of x-rays didn't show much but she did some more and they really showed the problem so i'll be having surgry on May 4th :-) two days after my finial exams. i'm so excited. most people wouldn't be but after five years of pain i'll be so happy to have it finished. They are going to just completely remove my seasmoid bone all together. I'll be on crutches for two solid weeks atleast then i'll get the stitches out and then will gradually come off the crutches and so yeah i'll be a cripple for two weeks. but the good thing is i'll be babied and pampered for two weeks. and will be able to catch up on reading and i'll be able to watch band of brothers in the entirety and do all kinds of stuff like rest and yeah its going to be nice anyways Take Care

Just one of those days I guess

2005-04-18T21:45:00.000-04:00

I don't believe in the whole "monday" thing, everyone says that mondays are evil awful days and if anything goes wrong its because its monday, not me. I know that its just because that they've had this long nice weekend and then monday they have to get up and go to work or school, but I love school and so all the way through saturday and the entire sunday I'm begging for monday to hurry up and get here. Okay I'll admit it has a lot to do with me being in love with my history professor he's amazing he can tell you everything about anything to do with history, usually people are good at one part of history or specialize in a section of history like american or european history but this guy knows everything about history from the beginning of time right up till now and can tell you everything you'd ever want to know like he can go on forever about chinese, egyptian, english or american history and tell you every detail, he is the most amazingly brilliant person i have ever met. I hope one day i can know half as much as he does. Anyways back to the whole monday isn't that bad idea, today was awful, dreedfull, and painfull all in one. I don't usually have bad days but this takes them all.

okay so i woke up in a great mood and why because i get to go to school lol isn't that a joke i waited all the way through two of the most boringest classes ever. Philosophy is so so so boring you can't imagine and now we are talking about Sartre which is a twentith century existentialist athesist french philosopher i think that sums it all up i don't mind philosophy but learning about all the people that didn't believe there was a God makes me uncomfortable, sick, irriatated, and just plain angry, but thats for another day's post, anyways so its so boring fortunately most of the kids in my school believe that there is a God and so its not so hard. but anyways sat through that then i sat through business law which was just annoying we had a guest speaker cause our professor is on a golf trip, yes we have to be in class but he can go play golf, yeah, anyways so it was about foster care and kids in foster care and the procedures and all well your guess is as good as mine regarding what that has to do with business law i don't know.

so friday mr. irriatating marine sat beside me and he usually sits across the room but today he sat behind me and he had a heavy sigh every two seconds like i'm bored get me out of here sigh now i was feeling the same way but really it got irriatating fast. Okay so the whole marine thing is hot but well okay i have a small crush simply cause the marine thing cause i have always always been in love with marines like since i was 5 that has been my one weakness, but this guy is not my type at all he curses, smokes, has tatoos, drinks, and talks to much in Caldwell's class which does not help his case at all. so anyways i have a crush but its like this "you're a marine oh okay i have an united states marine sitting beside me, oh you are an active marine still in service mmmmm" (another student in class) "mr caldwell what happened to the german u-boats in the south-pacific?" Logan "well blaghhh blaghhh blaghhh" everytime i want caldwell to talk not logan he never shuts up so it drives me up the wall. Caldwell's a retired Marine :-) anyways so it gets on my nerves

Back to the business law today it took forever and (oh by the way its that time of month so after about an hour of being up I became nauseous, tired, weak, irriatable, and had bad craps) so finially i got out and went to the restroom straightened my hair fixed lip gloss and took of to ww2 well i found a guest speaker waiting :-0 a guest speaker people what is up with that what possible happiness can come from it its insain and mean. all i wanted was a good funny lecture from Caldwell and what did i get german u-boats from a guest speaker, they went to grad-school together well you know what i don't care if they went sailing naked to australia together drunk and singing a pirates life for me together (okay maybe i do because that would just be gross) i didn' t want a guest speaker it was awful. the only highlight of class was when we were discussing the u-boats and caldwell was like okay if you want to see more about them then watch "some german movie about them" no thats not what he said i just can't rememeber the tittle of the movie, so he was like don't see u-571 its the biggest piece of crap $#% its almost as bad as ben afleck in that crap of a movie pearl harbor (he hates ben afleck which is great cause i refuse to see anything with him in it except for sum of all fears which he is atrocious in but its a good movie none the less you can't really ruin a morgan freeman movie) so that was great but that was it i was so mad i couldn't see straight.

so if that isn't enough me and mom had to take duke (duke is my dog that i've had for like ten years, hes a lab mix and adorable in a big way he weighs like 96 pounds, yeah ) for a rabbi shot today, while we were there they wanted to test him for heartwarms so guess what he tested possitive and we have two choices either have him treated for it which will cost almost a thousand dallors or have him put to sleep. so needless to say i'm not happy at all, but we are going to have him treated and hopefully he'll pull through okay, i've never had a dog put down and i can't imagine its just not fair i love my baby and hes so sweet i've been crying all day, but he'll be fine, i'm sure of it, hes a sweetheart and strong so he'll pull through okay. So please keep him in your prayers please.

and then the doctors office called and i have a doctors appointment tomorrow at 2:30 so that is actually good so i can go a head and get some help with my foot its with a speciallist and i'll probably have surgery but its okay cause its has hurt for five years and it will be wonderful and worth habbling around on crutches for a couple of weeks to end the pain for good. I'm tired of pain oh and i have a ulcer a really bad one in between my two front teeth so it really hurts. but anyways yes. i had x-rays of my foot done the other day and so we'll be going tomorrow and hopefully they can have the surgery in the time thats best for me. cause our vacation is either the first or second week in june so i either want it as soon as i get out of school for the semester so it can heal before vacation or as soon as we get back from vacation so i won't have to go to caldwell's class in mid july on crutches, and so i won't have to miss any of his classes. anyways so i'll find out soon and will give y'all all the update. so i'll post more later, and i promise a happy post next time (hopefully) Take Care.

2005-04-16T12:19:00.000-04:00

Charleston

Surgery most likely is unavoidable

2005-04-14T16:02:00.000-04:00

So when I was 14 or 15 I broke my sesamoid bone in my right foot and the doctor said sence i was young and still growing it wasn't a good ideal to have surgery on it but that when i got older i would have to have it fixed. Well about a month ago my foot started really really hurting again. Everytime i move my big toe or extend it at all it just starts hurting like you wouldn't believe and so went to see my normal doctor today to get a referral and had x-rays done now i have to wait go see a speacialist and most likely have surgery on my foot. I really don't like surgery. I wonder if i'll have a huge scar on my foot?? I'm a chronic flip-flop wearer and i don't want my foot to look nasty. Well anyways i hope that i can the surgery either the first week of May after school is out or the second week of june after vacation so i won't have to be on crutches in Caldwell's summer class that would be embarrassing. At least my foot wont hurt anymore, after five years of pain in my foot i won't know what to do when it doesn't hurt. That is one good aspect. Oh and i'll get babied for like three weeks yes that will be fun :-) very fun and i can catch up on reading. I haven't been able to read much with all the school work and books i have to read for school so that will be nice. We just went to the library today and i got General Patton A soldier's life and Battle for Starlingrad. Both look really good. The worst thing about surgery will be the anesthia, it always makes me so sick. like when i'm in the hospital or where ever i'm fine but as soon as i get in the car i have to throw up its awful. Anyways yes that is my lovely story for today. Will give updates when they come about the evil foot.

On a lighter note i get my history paper back tomorrow i'm excited i want to know what i got on it. and yes i get nice comments from the teacher :-) nice feedback. giggle giggle. I hope his undershirt is really snugglely. Sorry inside joke. Anyways so i guess i better let that be the end of this post before i get all gigglely and silly about a certain person. Take Care!!

I'M SO EXCITED!!!

2005-04-12T12:10:00.000-04:00

Last year my mom and I planted flowers and they came up but by the time we put them outside they died and it wasn't very nice of them. I mean here we had worked with these flowers for two months to make them grow and they die, rather rude of them. So this year we went out and bought like 40 dollars of seeds and then some and waited till the last frost was gone and just threw them all over the flowerbeds. Well we did it like two or three days before they left for Vacation and it was my job of watering them everyday. Well while my friend was here we went out and bought a thing of cottage flowers and it must have had like 10,000 seeds in it and i sprinkled them all over the ground. So i watered them like everyday and on the really hot dry days i watered them twice but nothing, and i know that certain seeds take longer to germinate or whatever but i was depressed cuz nothing was coming up. Well today we were watering them and thousands of little plants are coming up and i mean thousands. I'm so excited i can't wait to see what it looks like when they all come and and bloom and some of them take longer to germinate so we might have tons and tons of things coming up by summer and yes i am excited. Its silly how happy this makes me. I really love working in the garden it gives me a large sence of accomplishment to see these seed that i've planted come up and turn into beautiful flowers. I have not the pleasure of having a green thumb so its even better when i successfully grow something even a weed. but the flower beds are just coated in these little flowers coming up and i'm so very excited. So yes i'll keep you all up dated on the progress of my flowers and will post pictures later after they all bloom to show you how wonder they are. I love flowers and i can't wait to see what they all look like. Anyways yes Take Care!!

Everything is back to normal

2005-04-11T23:59:00.000-04:00

So parents are home now. I am much happier about it than i thought i would be. I have missed them. I know that i don't sound like it but i get on very well with my mom and dad. They had a lovely week but i'm so jealous they got to go see the USS Yorktown and yes i know that i have already seen it but i want to see it again. I love WW2 and everything about it. anyways so they met all my aunts and uncles except for one at my aunt's house in charleston and had a really wonderful time. And of course Charleston is all at bloom right now so its not fair i tell you its not. its okay though they brought home presents. well before they left they bought Peter Pan the movie for me (the new one) as a "I'm sorry for leaving you" gift and i really couldn't leave for a week so close to the finial exam with Caldwell. then they brought home a purse its soooooo cute its pink and it has flip flops and bags on it its like so adorable i love it!!! Then they got me a t-shirt thats really cute its pink to (i love pinkif you can't tell) that has the palm tree and star from the south carolina flag in white and it says charleston on it, then they got my a parrot pen, a deck of playing cards (i collect playing cards that have different pictures on them) a smash penny (collect those too) a painting of clipperships in the charleston harbor and flip-flops. the flip flops are great they are addidas that are black and pink, i have the blue and white pair cuz they go with everything and i don't have anything pink and so mom got them to match the pink shirt. But i am beyound happy to have them home. I really really am. Even if i do have to sleep in my own bed now.

So i signed up for the fall semester i'm taking College Chemistry with a chemistry lab, Western Civilization part two cuz i couldn't fit part one in my schedule, polictical science, and Western Philosophy. So it should be interesting. I stayed up till midnight to register and so i called at 12:00 and it wasn't up yet and 12:03 it still wasn't up and then at 12:05 i couldn't get through cuz all the lines were jammed and then finially after yelling at the phone and dialing and redialing i got through at 12:20 and i was so scared i wouldn't get the classes i wanted, but i did. by the time i get through with the summer and fall semester i'll have almost 70 credits in college isn't that insain. anyways i'm not looking forward to the end of this semester at all i have loved my world war two class so very much. it is by far the greatest class i have ever taken. but life goes on i guess. tell you what though Caldwell was NOT in a good mood today. and i have so much work to do i have the following
1) an essay in history
2) reaction paper 3 (four pages)
3) reaction paper 4 (four pages)
4) pilosophy journals (3 of them)
5) a FIVE page paper for theatre class
6) four message board posts
All due in the next couple of weeks. not fun to think about. anyways so yes thats how school is going.

And then I have a doctor visist thursday, am not looking forward to it. I really think i'm going to have to have surgery on my foot. not a good prospect. Anyways i want to go to washington DC and see the holocaust museum i've been two or three times but i want to go again its so amazing (sad really really sad like cry your eyeballs out sad but amazing none the less) and i want to go see the WW2 mamorior ( i know that is misspelled i'm an awful speller) i haven't seen it yet. Last time we were in DC it had just been finished and we didn't get a chance to go. I was thinking that i'd beg my parents into taking me one day soon. I'd ask my friend aimee if she'd like just me and her to drive up and go see it together but i doubt that she would be interested in see either of them, so i don't think i'll bug her about it. I don't think she really enjoys history, its my passsion in life though. So i guess its a good thing i'm majoring in it.

So i Guess i say goodnight now its late and i'm hungry and tired, i haven't eatten anything except a small bowl of cereal this morning and a couple nibbles of salad tonight so i'm starving and i have so much work to do tomorrow for school and stuff so yes Goodnight, sweetdreams, and please keep the bedbugs to yourselves. Take Care!!

2005-04-11T15:59:00.000-04:00

zander

coming home

2005-04-10T15:09:00.000-04:00

So my parents are coming home sometime today. I'm happy and sad at the same time. I won't lie its been nice to be on my own for a while, and i'll miss the independence i've been so very blessed with for the last week but i'm happy cuz that means i don't have to cook so much and i don't have to take care of everything. And also i can sleep better at night. its creepy being in a big house all by yourself and everything creeks i guess it always does but you don't notice it in the day time or when there are people around.

I get to sign up for fall semester tonight at midnight. I'm going to take Western Civilization pt 2 cuz i cant fit part one in my schedule, then i'm taking chemistry and a chemistry lab, political science, and wester philosophy. thats the most credits i've taken in one semester so far. I'm excited cuz i'm almost done with this semester and i've done really well, i think i'm getting two A's and two B's. my mom gives me thirty dollars per A so i'm excited. But i still have alot of work ahead of me i have one history paper and the finial essay and test to prepare for, i have to write two four page reaction papers and one 5 paper finial exam paper for theatre. And of course i have my philosophy journals to write. So yeah but i'm really sad this has been my favorite semester so far and i LOVE !!!! my world war two class i love learning about ww2 and i love ww2 movies and its just my favorite time period to learn about, and soon the class will be over and i'm so depressed, its by far my favorite class i have taken EVER. its depressing to leave a class you love. I love Caldwell hes a great teacher. He's the funniest person in the world and he gets on well with his students and shows that he cares about us and all of his students love him but when he walks into a room you know who is in charge. Thats the teacher i wont to be like i want to be able to joke and have fun with my students and have them respect me as a teacher but i also want to be able to command a class room the way he does. anyways its not so long to him will have him for atleast two more semesters. so thats good.

But i'm still completely lost as well i want to go after i'm done here. I looked at byu and i'd have to take another 4 semesters just to get the basics done with. its insain like everytime i look at their webpage they but more into the general education and its getting rediculous. 72 flipping credits just for your general education i don't think so. so i'm at a lost i might stay in Virginia or i might go somewhere else i'm just at a lost. i was maybe thinking about Charleston, South Carolina or maybe Asheville, north Carolina not sure though. I'm really lost when it comes down to it. Its like when you come to a bend in the road and you can't see whats coming up around the corner and you want to see and you're running as hard as you can and you just arn't getting anywhere its like i can't ever make up my mind i want to transfer to a four year school but i just can't decide where to go i know i want to major in history and teach at a college level i just don't know where to go for school. I'll find it one day hopefully sooner rather than later but yeah. Anyways guess i'll figure it out one day. Take care!!

Another Caldwell Paper

2005-04-08T14:02:00.000-04:00

So i spent all night last night proof reading my paper got like 3 hours of sleep got up this morning got ready for school and picked up my paper to go and realized i hadn't put in churchill's and stalin's first names when i first mentioned them so i had to run back and change it. I worked really hard on that paper and i want a 100 usually an A would be fine but its Caldwell's class so nothing less than a 100 is good enough. anyways will let you know how it came out next week when i get it back. Take Care.

My Horoscope For Today

2005-04-07T22:54:00.000-04:00

Not in the greatest of moods, didn't get alot of sleep last night and not really feeling good. I think i'm getting a cold or something, anyways so i was looking in the newspaper from today and this is what my horoscope said (i'm a Libra)

You have compassion for people of all ages and all walks of life.
Because you avoid making assumptions, you're let in on a
profitable situation. A delicious spirirt of discovery visits
relationships.

I'm not a big fan of horoscopes nor do i put alot of faith in them but i do enjoy reading them its silly i know but i'm a silly person (most of the time) also not to sound conceeded but this one was perfect for me. And it made me feel better. Alot better. but then i went back to my malancaly mood and so yes. Anyways am really rather busy working on history paper for Caldwell :-). Take Care.

House Sitting

2005-04-06T17:57:00.000-04:00

My Parents have gone to see my Aunt in South Carolina, its a big family get together, all but two of my dad's simblings are going to be there, Uncle tommy and uncle jerry haven't talked in like twenty years cause a big stubit fight they had one day when they were drunk. So anyways i didn't go because i have classes i must be at. They left monday and it wasn't that bad at first cuz Aimee had come and stayed sunday through early tueday morning but i'm by my self and mom called this morning and said that she isn't going to be home till late sunday instead of early saturday. Last night i got in bed at like 11pm and all night i heard noises, i'm sure they were nothing more than an overactive silly imagination but i heard them none the less, so i didn't fall asleep till like 2am and then i had to drag myself out of bed this morning the alarm woke me up at like 8ish and it took me like forty-five minutes to pull myself out of bed. so i haven't been having alot of fun. ITs so boring all i did all day yesterday was watch tv and it was so so boring. its lonely a empty house that is. today i got to go to school :-) and sadly that was the highlight of the day. and now i'm bored again. Lost and American Idol are coming on tonight and i've been working on my history paper thats due friday so i'm trying to keep myself alittle busy. Chinese food sounds good tomorrow i think i might order some. either tomorrow or friday. I love chinese food. And i'm out of ice cream. LOL and not a moment to soon i've eatten so much ice cream this week.

Anyways so i went to school today and i had to talk myself into going to my first class, philosophy, that class drives me crazy. So i was like well if i get ready on time i'll go ahead and go so i had twenty minutes to do my hair, make-up, brush my teeth, eat breakfast, and get dressed. Usually it would take me like thirty five minutes at least to do it but no i did it in like 15 minutes today it wasn't fair so anyways i ended up going to philosophy, we got out like twenty minutes early and the next class didn't start for an half hour so i slowly walked to the bathroom to fix my hair and lipgloss (not really needing to just wanted to waste time) then i went and sat in front of the class for twenty minutes. they have long bench-type seats along the walls so that kids can wait for class so thats what i did for twenty bloody minutes it wasn't very interested, anyways so we usually can go into class like ten minutes early but the previous class was taking a quiz and so we had to wait forever. I got a "hello Vanessa" and a smile from caldwell, then i got to take a business law test. woohoo. finished it like 15 minutes before the next test so i had some more time to kill. so anyways i finially made it to Caldwell's class. I LOVE THAT CLASS it is by far the best college class that i've ever attended. World War two is like my favorite thing to study and Caldwell is the best teacher so yeah it was great. And logan said next to nothing today which shocked me (logan is this military dude in my class that can't ever keep his mouth shut about anything all he ever does is run his mouth, and his opinions are never his own he always tries to use Caldwell's opinions and its so irriateing) and melissa wasn't that (another irritating person she kisses up to caldwell non-stop) anyways so that class was so great today. its pretty sad when the highlight of my day is Caldwell's class but thats the way it goes, esspecially when i've been alone for two solid days, and will be for four more days, oh well.

I enjoy school is that a crime??? i hated middle and high school but i love college. I'm going to start appling to transfer to a four year school in august here are my choices so far.
1)BYU (all three of the BYU's Provo, Hawaii, and Idaho)
2) UVA in Charlottesville
3) William and Mary
4) University of Central Florida in Orlando ( i have alot of family there so that would be nice)
5) Virginia Southern Universtiy (not really somewhere i really want to go just keeping my options open)
6) well there really isn't a number six yet.
anyways so early august i'll apply and late august early september i'll find out where i'm going hopefully i'm going somewhere. I'm tired of living with my parents. I want to be out on my own in my own apartment and doing my own thing. my major hasn't changed i still want a PHD in History and to go on to teach at a university. So anyways yes. I've better get back to my history paper. Take Care!

2005-04-01T21:15:00.000-05:00

I'm soooooo excited, my bestest best friend in the world might be coming to visit in a couple of days i'll know for sure tomorrow she just has to check her schedule to see. I'm so happy. we haven't seen each other for months, last time we saw each other was feb, 5th but that doesn't really count cause it was the josh groban concert and we didn't get to talk or spend anytime at all with each other. We really haven't been about to spend any good time together since janurary and that is an eternity ago. Aimee is more like a sister than a friend, we use to spend all the time in the world together, she is the person that keeps me sain. She has always been there when i needed her. we use to live like 15 minutes from each other and now we live a good 3 hours away. We talk on aol and write and email but its not the same. We have the same crazy sense of humor and so we spend most of our time laughing. Like this one time i went to visit her we were driving from here house to richmond and we laughed sooooo hard i thought i really was going to be sick and then we had no slightess clue to what it was that had laughed so hard about. Thats what i love about her so much, she can be that serious person when she has to be and she can be that perfect sister that you can talk to when you need her but she can turn around and be that silly fun person as well. She is the only person i know that understands me or atleast tries to. She is the only person that really listens to me i mean really really listens its not like talking to a wall like it is with most people. Anways so she might be coming monday - thursday morning. So yes i am beyound excited. Anyways yes take care.

A FRIEND OR JUST SOMEONE I TALK TO ONCE IN A WHILE??

2005-04-01T15:12:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had someone you knew for a long time and you like that person but you weren't sure how much you could put up with from that person. I know someone that I enjoy when they are in a good mood but their good moods are rare and far in-between, you see i simply have nothing in-common with this person. NOTHING!! They are self-centered, egotistical, pushy, and can not stand something good to happen to anyone. Anytime i'm happy or get anything they have to go on this jealous rage. This person has to either put it down and try to make me feel like its something no worthy of being happy about or they try to out do me. I've gotten to the point i hardly ever tell this person athing about myself and i hardly ever share my good or bad news with this person, because like the good news they either have to out do me with the bad news or rub it in my face. Is this really someone you want to be around, but you see i like this person (NOT LIKE THAT, just like a friend) and i try to put up with them as best i can its just sometimes its too much to deal with. I'm never allowed to be happy, excited, or enjoy anything around this person. why is it that people have to tear anouther person down to make themselves feel better. Why does a "friend" have to mistreat you to be happy with what they have. Is a friend really a friend if you can never talk with them, i mean really talk to them. You ask for advice and they tell you why you are lower then they are. I really really have nothing in common with this person except religions. But see i'm a very well i'm kinda what you call a goody two shoes, i like to do good it keeps me out of trouble, i'm a nice person over all i do have faults enough i'm not saying i'm perfect, but i like to be nice to people i can't stand to irritate people or to have them upset with me. I like making people happy , i follow my moral standards and values, i don't try to violate them over and over again just to do it. I don't watch R rated movies i don't use the Lords name in vain and it drives me up the wall when someone does, i see standards as something to keep me safe and this person see's them as something to throw away. I'm not judgemental i try really hard not to be honest i do but this person just goes out of their way to not live the standards of the church. they have two personalities, the one that they use at church and the one they use out of church, they act like they know everything if you were to say "the sky is blue" they would argue for an eternity about the exact shade of blue the sky is. If you say anything that they don't think is true World War Three would break out. over nothing and they can even know that you're right but argue to death just for the sake of not admitting they were wrong. and oh my goodness money. don't ever say anything about it don't say you bought someting or have something or anything that could remotely resemble a statement having the slightest to do with money. this person is eat up with it. its like this "oh i had to buy books for school today, my goodness the prices for college textbooks is a crime" and this is the reply "oh, so anyways i bought five hundred shirts and twelve hundred pants and i got this new cd and that new game and i bought bought bought." and this is every time they have no interest in what you said they just care about proving that they spent more money than you, and does it matter NO should it matter NO does it matter to me if you are rich or poor NO its not a big part of my life, i have never whated for money nor have i ever spent a hundred dollars just to show that i could. I have been raised in a very comfortably when it comes to money but i don't look down on people that have less then i do nor do i look for friends who have money it really isn't an issue but when you want to have a real conversation with a friend about something and they go off on you about how much money they've spent they could careless about what you said, it drives me up the wall. I'm a rather quiet person always have been, but i'm a good listener but once in a while i'd like a person to listen to me, to know that what i say they care to listen to. but this person can't hear a thing i say cause they are too wrapped up on themselves and i'm sick of it. Don't you think that a friendship between to people should be for the benefit of both people involved instead of one person helping them selves by hurthing the other person. anyways I'm not really trying to talk bad about someone or name call or judge but this blog helps me to destress when i'm upset or irritated about something with out offending someone. I know it helps to avoid the problem but i'd rather do it this way and have no negative feedback. Anyways take care.

Insain or just Stubit

2005-04-01T15:02:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if i'm insain or just plain stubit, here i have already signed up for classes for the summer semester all online classes so i never have to set foot into a class room all summer at all no school for three months and what do i do, I SWITCH CLASSES SO I'M TAKING CALDWELL'S CLASS INSTEAD OF JUST REGULAR ONLINE EASY STUFF. Now its a normal regular 16 week class with Caldwell is really really hard i think that a Five week four hour a day two days a week class with Caldwell is close enough to insainity that i'd like to be, i mean its just plain suicide. I really truely must be insain. But its probly the last class i'll ever have with him so i took it. I hate having favorite teachers i really do them anything less then an "A" isn't good enough and anything but their class isn't acceptable. I really do have issues i really really do. Anyways so other than that i'm doing pretty good. But seriously i have never tried for hard classes infact i have avoided them to the upteen degree but here i am being silly enough to walk in to a class that should never be attended by the faint of heart and i'm doing it volunteeraly. and with the knowlege that i must atleast get an B i'd prefer an A but yeah its going to be alot of work. Anyways so while i'm looking into my own mental health, enjoy the warm beautiful weather. Take Care

Pride and Prejudice the all time greatest book and movie!!

2005-03-30T19:25:00.000-05:00

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
Oscar Wilde
Isn't it sad but most people i know are this way. they have a different opinion on the same subject around different people. They say someting to agree with who ever they think will profit them the most and then they change in different company. Why is this? are they simply a fake person or do they fear speaking their own mind. I might be shy and quiet around certain people but at least my opinion and views on life remain the same regardless of who's company i'm in.

MMMMMmmmm one big boo boo

2005-03-29T22:49:00.000-05:00

So I think i'm going to have to have surgery on my foot. See I broke a bone in my foot ages ago like four or five years ago and the doctor was an idoit and thought i was making everything up to get out of school. So come to find out a year later no i wasn't making it up i really had broken the Sesamoid bone in my right foot in half. Its the bone that connects the big toe and the foot. Well hes like well if we caught it any sooner we could have done something for it but now you'll have to have surgery. All he wanted was to make sure to get more money out of us by having me under a knife well pooh to him and i was like ain't no way. Anyways so it always hurts but it has been liveable up till about now. You see i think that the half of the bone that broke off has now moved. It has slid down into the big toe itself, not where its ment to be and it is sooooo painful i always use my feet to move stuff and to pick stuff up off the floor but it hurts so bad i was in bed the other night and i just lightly moved my covers with my foot and i thought i was going to pass out from the pain the pain was just so massive. anyways mom is leaving to go out of town next monday so she is going to call before she leaves and set up an appointment for me for after she comes back. Then i have a stomach virus, i'm fine untill i eat anything and then i either throw it up or well or it comes out the other end in very unpleasant ways. yesterday alone i lost four pounds just cuz i can't keep any food in my stomach. And now i have a massive aphithous ulcer in my mouth. ITs an ulcer but its more like a really really painful blister that is huge and takes at least ten days to go away. So indead I am just one major boo boo.

Anyways so we went visiting teaching today. I love visiting teaching. we went to see sister wright who is always fun to talk with, and then we saw sister straughtful who has the cutest kids. Josh who is almost five and emily who is like almost a year and the abosolute funniest little thing. So we had a great time and then we went into town and shopped which was the best. Me and Mom are planting a huge flower garden this year its going to be beautiful. and then we went to the library and got a lot of movies i mainly picked out history movies like the Roman Empire and the rise and fall of the russian czars. i also got a biography movie on Jane Austen my absolute favorite author of all time. and i got a book by her that i had never heard of before it looks really good and it isn't very big so maybe i'll have time to fit it in with all the school stuff and all the books i have to read for my classes. Then we got home lateish and watched american idol i want Carrie underwoods to win. I've voted for here every single week. I really want jessica to go home she is so annoying and so in love with herself. then i watched House. great show i love the doctor hes got the greatest personallity LOL. anyways good show. I don't really watch alot of T.V. infact i hate to watch tv i get so bored just sitting there unless a football game is on i'd rather be doing just about anything else, reading, taking a walk, even school work. So anyways. Thats pretty much my day.

I want to go to BYU Provo, sooooo badly i know i get winny and i want to go see england but if i had to chose i'd go to Provo. I'll get there someday regardless of what i have to do i will get there. I have set my mind to it and thats that. I only know a couple of people out there David, Catherine, Garute, but thats what i want is to be somewhere new with no body i know. that way i can start over and get a life and be me and forget about the shiness. i'm sick of everyone i know isn't that sad. its just there isn't anyone here i'm great friends with and i want to get away from my parents. Dont take that the wrong way yes they have there faults but i love both of them dearly its just that there comes that time in a child's life that they are ready to leave the nest and go find their own life and their direction, and i pasted that moment a good two years ago.

Mom and Dad are leaving for a week, they leave Monday of next week and are coming home i think saturday so that will be fun. I asked aimee if she could come and of course she can't i knew that would be the case but you know whatever anyways so its just me and the animals, it'll be fun. I've already plan the week pride and prejudice monday, pride and prejudice a utah comedy tueday, sense and sensibilty wednesday, lol lol just kidding i don't have that lame of a life yet.

So happy belated easter, so i hope everyone had a great Easter and got lots of cool stuff and lots of candy. but most of all i hope you all remember why we really celebrate Easter. I got two movies, A Far Off Place its an old old movie but so good its been one of my favorites for ever, and then i got Finding Neverland one of the absolute greatest movies ever. I want a little boy just like Michael one day hes so adorable, and i got two stuffed animals, a bear that is wearing a sheep outfit way cute, and a Hippo a pink hippo at that. I love hippos and i didn't have a stuffed animal one so i begged my mom into getting me one and so its great. I think it was the only stuffed animal i don't have that i wanted. I have hundreds of stuffed animals most of them are in my garage so they don't over run my room. but yes i love my pink hippo i haven't named it yet though, Have any ideals? what is a good name for a pink hippo?

So anyways i guess i'll say good night now "Goodnight" its late and i have to be up for school in the morning oh oh i signed up for summer semester two history classes a computer one its going to be boring i already know everything but you have to have it cause its a requirement and a philosophy class. they are all virture classes so i don't have to go to school at all except to talk tests isn't that grand. anyways sweet dreams and talk to everyone later. Take Care!!

2005-03-19T11:28:00.000-05:00

Paper In history that I got a Hundred A+ Good Job on!!!!!!
Both essays deal with the prejudice and discrimination of non-white Americans during World War Two. The first one deals mainly with African American women who were discriminated against in the work place and the ability to get jobs. The second essay deals with the discrimination and violence against the Mexican American population of Los Angeles.
The first essay Conflicts Between White Women and Black Women, and Their Employers, in the Wartime Industrial Work, written by Karen Tucker Anderson discusses the inequality between race and gender in the work place, during World War Two. In her work Anderson gives a lot of surveys from around the country done at different times during the war, and through this she points out the fact that the majority of racial feelings and prejudices against blacks and females during the prewar period still remained regardless of shortages of manpower. As well as being denied most jobs, what jobs they were allowed to do were usually lower class jobs, instead being allowed to work in industry they were forced to take jobs that other women would not do. Despite equality laws non-white women could not force themselves into better jobs. The United States government tried to keep both sides happy, the minorities looking for work by going through the motions of looking into discrimination complaints, mainly to keep riots from happening, and to keep the factory owners happy by allowing them in many cases to get around policy and equality laws, mainly to keep production up. Although discrimination against females as a whole and black males is lightly touched in this essay it is mainly centered on the discrimination that black females faced in the work place.
In Edward J. Escobars essay Wartime conflicts Between Sailors, Chicano Youths, and the Police in Los Angeles, the racism and discrimination of the Mexican American population is examined. Mostly in Los Angeles riots against the Mexican population broke out, and instead of protecting them the police simply arrested them and charged them with misconduct. The police labeled the young Mexican American population as criminal in nature. Not only did they suffer discrimination in work related situations, being given only the lowest jobs and being paid lower than anyone else, they were constantly attacked by police and city government. The Mexican American youth were segregated into schools away from the other children where they also faced discrimination and prejudice treatment from school officials. The Mexican American population was also segregated in all other public areas, such as parks and businesses. The worse of the racist actions were taken by police towards the Mexican youth, the police would for no real reason attack, often violently, the youth and have them arrested or put in jail simply because they hated them.
While the two essays deal with different ethical groups and different forms of discrimination, both essays seem to show the hypocrisy of the United States in their judgment of Germany and the Holocaust. Although the United States did not go around killing any ethical groups on a large scale they still had there superior race, as well as, putting the Japanese into interment camps, not allowing African Americans to have equal rights, and violently discriminating and abusing Mexican Americans. What made the United States any better then the Nazis? How can Americans sit in judgment of one nations racism, if they themselves hated everything that is not white?

2005-03-17T12:13:00.000-05:00

2005-03-16T18:00:00.000-05:00

This picture was taken about two weeks ago of my four in a half month old nephew Zander, he is a cute little bugger isn't he. He's wonder and adorable. So what have I've been up to, well school oh yeah remind me to tell me a story latter about that, anyways and oh got my grade back from Caldwell and its a high B so yeah if I get like a 94 on my final and i'll get an A for the class and it will be my first A from Caldwell ever. I love Caldwell to death but he is the toughest teacher I have ever had. I'm signing up for courses for summer in a few weeks and i have the ability to take a virtual class online so i won't have to go to school but do you know what i've dicided to take three courses like that and take a Caldwell one in class. I know I know but i coudn't very well take a course in History that i could take with Caldwell and not take it. And on that note so the story about school, okay so I dreaded having to go to school all morning so when i get there it really went rather well got a free book in philosophy that i won so that was cool, bad news is we got out twenty minutes early, you see usually thats a good thing but when you have a class afterwards and all you have to do is sit and wait for the next class to start it isn't that good. so i'm sitting waiting for this class to start reading "the picture of dorian gray" by oscar wilde, very very good book when i hear this voice oh hey vanessa how are you today, i look up and its caldwell :-) so that was good but then i get to business law and its a quiz day but open book so it couldn't be to bad right? well i'm sitting there taking forever to get through this stubit quiz and not wanting to be late for Caldwell's class which is the absolute highlight of my day, finially get done right on time for the end of class grab my stuff run to the bathroom brush my hair run to class and guess what oh yes Caldwell walks in puts three stacks of paper on the table tells us to get one of each and says sorry i've got to leave but enjoy the movie, so yeah we watched the movie "midway" it was rather boring i'd rather hear Caldwell lecture then watch movies. Anyways so then i stayed for the whole fifty minutes which half the class did not. Got home and there was a paper in the mailbox for something to pic up at the post office so i grabed it jumped into my car and went to get it. It was from Aimee :-) !!!! It was this really cool st patricks day hat (my favorite holliday) and a letter and yes cadbury eggs, i love cadbury eggs they are my absolute favorite things in the world the only problem is i'm on a diet and i'm doing so well i've lost five and a half pounds this week already. so they will have to wait or i'll eat them like one a week. But it was totally sweet of her to get them for me. i miss her i'm absolutely bumed i haven't seen her in like almost two months it isn't fair. anyways so that was my day OH OH OH i've got to tell you the funnies story i've heard in along time. okay there is a family in our church that lives down the road from us and i love the entire family they are the absolute sweetest greatest family in the world. the mother is so amazing and the father is everything i want to have one day and they have three little girls whitney -4 brooke-2 and gracie- 4 months, well Jill (the mother) is telling us that they had rented cinderalla story with hilary duff and some other young teen movies for the girls i guess and one morning whitney the four year old came walking into their bed room and told them that she had a dream about Austin Ames the guy from cinderalla story, and her father is like WHAT WAS HE DOING IN YOUR DREAM?????, and she said he picked me up and twirled me around and my feet went up like this. and her dad screamed THATS IT NO MORE OF THOSE MOViES IN THIS HOUSE EVER!!!!!! lol its great i guess you would have to have been there but it was so funny i was dying laughing. Anyways OH i got a B+ on my philosophy journals (kinda like a midterm grade). anyways will talk to you later, take care.

Things are looking up

2005-03-13T17:32:00.000-05:00

So my brother Jared has decided to go on his mission and I am so proud I can barely stand it. It is by far the best thing he can do. He has been getting stronger and stronger in the gosple for the lest year or so and has decided he wanted to go on his mission. He is going to take a second job and work hard and save and then sometime in the summer he's putting his papers in. I'm so thrilled. It is one of the greatest things that has happened in a long time I'm really really excited.

other than that guess who was at church today..........................................Brian lol yes Brian i didn't get a chance to talk to him but it was great to see him. Alot of the college kids weren't there but some of the nice ones were still there and i still didn't get my blasted movie back I lent The Magic Of Ordinary Days to someone and then my mom let another sister have it so i've been without it for a month and i'm dying to get it back. But church was really really good. I enjoyed it very much.

And tomorrow I get to find out what I got on my midterm in caldwell's class. I'm hoping for a B i know i didn't get an A but i would almost be happy with a B. Oh and they finially posted classes for the summer semester. I'm taking all virtiual classes so i won't have to go regulary just have to go once in awhile to take tests. I'm taking two history five week courses and i'm not sure about the other to but am thinking about a philosophy class and a computer course i could breeze through the computer course so that would be nice and an easy A. So yeah will be signing up on March 28th.

Yesterday my mom had an easter egg hunt with the primary and i went to help. It was fun but the best part was it was really cold outside and so Jill Let me hold Gracie when the kids were doing games that she was incharge of and during the hunt so it was great. She was asleep in the begining and then after everyone had gone outside she woke up and gave me a look like WHO ARE YOU (because i had never held her before) but then i started talking to her and i was like "OHHH GRACIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING" in a very silly voice and she looked at me and smiled and we had a great time she is only like 4 months old. But then she had her tongue hanging out so i said oh yeah well i have one to and i can stick it out as well" and she started laughing so hard she was shaking it was great. I can't wait to have children it will be so wonderful. not rushing anything but am excitedly waiting for it.

Anyways thats about all write now. OH OH OH YES AIMEE IS SENDING ME A LETTER SHE MAILED IT YESTERDAY AND SO IT SHOULD BE HERE TOMORROW OR TUESDAY AND SHE SAID SHE IS MAILING SOMETHING TOMORROW AS WELL YEPPIE I'M SO EXCITED I'LL BE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. anyways take care.

LONG TIME NO SEE

2005-03-11T12:14:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone sorry I haven't posted in a long time, its spring break and i've been out of town. No nowhere tropical or warm no instead i've been in colder places makes sense right? No not to me either, i've needed it though, after the test. oh my word Caldwell's midterm was awefull you see it was open notes which is the only thing that saved me and then i was so nervous my hands shook the whole time i was taking it so i'm trying to change pages in my notebook and write with my hands shaking non-stop it was so embarrasing and if that isn't enough see i have then folder thing that i keep all my papers from all my classes so i won't lose them or anything so it stays at home and it had alot of papers i needed i would have made an "A" if it wasn't for that so no i'm waiting to get the grade this monday and i'm scared. Anyways oh how do you like the new back ground? I wanted a giggsys one but couldn't find one that looked decent so i saw this one and thought it was cute and it took me forever to figure out how to make it come up instead of the old one. and it eat my eggs my doll and my viewer count thingy. So i had to look for my doll again and find my eggs and still don't have the count thing back thought i'd leave that off oh it hate my guest book to go figure. and i found a hello kitty to adopt which was cool. anyways so i've been out of town i went to D.C. and Richmond, and Baltimore. do you know how long its been since i was in baltimore? years!!! i use to live there and then when we moved away my brother and his then wife lived there and so we use to go visit them, its kinda like florida to me, another place i grew up. But it was really great to see it again. there is this one place in downtown a couple of blocks from the aquarium that is like block after block of row houses. its really great it makes you feel like you were in Dublin or downtown at an English city it was amazing it was almost as if i was in England. Anyways but it snowed really bad and it was so cold, and of course intelegent me didn't even bring my heavy jacket and i was freezing. But anyways we had a great day. and we went to the zoo in D.C. the day before and the temple bookstore and then on the way home from baltimore we were on the beltway and saw the temple its cool to see it on the way to the temple but coming back its so amazing its nothing and then all of a sudden its there and it looks like its in the middle of the road its one of the most amazing sites i have ever seen. It makes you want to cry and pray and be full of joy all at the same time. I wonder what non-members think when they see it. Anyways so i have pics that i will post later. Am waiting for a letter from Aimee, not sure if she has even sent it yet but she said she was going to write me a letter so i have been dying for it. momma is making me a new scripture bag its going to be soooooooo cute we are going to go pic out some material for it today or tomorrow. but shes making it so i can put my scriptures, hymn book, my David O'Mckay book and all the other junk i cary to church all in the same bag and not have to have ten things i carry around, but it think it will turn out really great. She's good at making things like that so i can't wait for her to finish it and she hasn't even started it yet. I've been thinking about BYU alot lately i can't wait to apply again but i have to wait five months thats an eternity and then a month and a half to hear from them its not fair. i'd die if i didn't get in this time. i really would i want it more than anything. Its time for me to be out on my own and with other people my age with the same believes, morals, and standards. All my life i've been the odd ball the outsider because i wouldn't lower my standards it will be amazing to be surrounded by other LDS people. Can you imagine all my professors LDS too. that will really be different. and wonderful. Anyways will post some more latter. Take Care

Scared to death isn't even the feeling

2005-03-04T09:32:00.000-05:00

I am patrafied yes beyond words of discription state of fear. I have never really worried about a test before its like oh i will study and i'll get what i get nothing more i can do. well caldwell's midterm is this afternoon and i'm going to die yes i'm dead thats all there is to it i wrote my essay last night and i don't think its very good. i swear caldwell makes me more nervous that any teacher or professor i have ever had. i had nightmares all night last night about this stubit midterm, so if you do not have anymore posts from me ever its be because i died while taking my midterm.
But if i live through it i get to see Aimee tomorrow :-) i'm so excited i haven't seen her since begining of the month but we did not really get to spend anytime together because it was the Josh Groban concert and we got to talk for like five minutes and so we haven't had a day to just hang out and have fun with each other for a long time, and i miss that. She is like the dearest closest person to me (not like that) and we never get to talk or hang out or do anything together much anymore and so we will finially get so time to do nothing just hang out and be us and do our thing, watch out richmond. lol no we are going to meet in richmond and so yes i'm so excited and we are planning on going to our theater, its this great old theater in an odd part of town its like this house that was turned into a one screne theater and then it was turned into a to screne theater and its awesome. we went to see Bend it like Beckham when it wasn't even out in the U.S. it plays alot of documentries and Foreign films there. and then we are planning on eating at and irish resturant mmmmmmmm good stuff. no its okay i don't really even care as long as me and aimee get to actually spend sometime together.
So i have finially made a plan i want to major in history and teach college. I think that i'm either going to byu provo or University of Central Florida (warmth) in orlando and getting my masters degree because that is the highest degree in history you can get at either one and then i'll transfer somewhere else and get my PHD and teach. to get my masters at it will take like 5 or 6 semesters so i'll be there for like 2 or 3 years and then if i play my cards right another year from my phd and then i will be done with college permanately. lol untill i start teaching. so i'll graduate at like 23 or 24 and i'll be happy to finish school very much so. i'm really thinking orlando though i am so tired of being cold.
Anyways i'm going to die now no actually i'm going to get in the shower, i've got to get ready fro school and if its not enough to have to take caldwell's midterm today i have to sit through business law before that. so i get to be half asleep when i get to caldwell. i don't mind business law infact its the kinda thing i like but our teacher can put us all to sleep in a record winning time. he is a very dry person and so its not the funniest class i've sat through, not the worst either. anyways i've go to go will post soon (hopefully) Take Care.

I feel so old

2005-02-25T23:10:00.000-05:00

I feel old i don't know why but its just hit me really hard today that i'm old. yes i'm only twenty but i feel so old soon i'll be out on my own living on my own working going to college being independent, and it scares me to death. i know i shouldn't hold on to worldly things and stuff but there just isn't enough time. i'll graduate college and get married and next thing you know you're fifty years old and i don' t want to get old. yes i want to get married and have a family but i want to see things and do things to. i want to see a manchester united football game and the tower bridge in all its glory, the coluseum in rome and the great wall of china, the galapagos islands and st petersburgh, well anyways you get the point. more than anything i just want to live. so this is my plan and this is deffinately my plan i'll go to college in american and if i don't find the love of my life i'll either get a job in England or go to grad school in England good plan right?? i don't fit in here i never have, is it bad to want to be somewhere a person could care about the same things i mean really you find anouther person to break down and cry when they realize that Keane is only going to play for about 18 more months. i guarantee that person would be american. i think that has alot to do with me feeling old to you know, you have somethings that have always been a certain way growing up and then when they change you realize........... i don't know really what you realize maybe you'll old or that things can't ever stay the same. my whole time growing up its always been keane, giggs, scholes, neville (phill and gary) and ferguson. and now keane is going to retire, do you know keane has played for united since oh my goodness since i was like 8 and now this when andy cole left a couple years back it crushed me i cried everytime i heard the words andy or cole and hes nothing compared to keane. you see keane is my absolute biggest hero in life. hes helped me through alot, and never let me down. You see i hated high school it was more like torture than school and so everytime united won it gave me hope and happiness that there was a world far away that one day i could go and be a part of and though that world was alot more than just keano i loved him (not like that) he was my hero sure scholes scored more goals or giggs was hot but keane well hes keane you know anyways hes the greatest influence and greatest hero in my life. i'll miss him on the field. demanding perfection in his team and accepting nothing less. lol life has a way of creeping by with us never realizing that time is slipping by so quickly. Anyways if that isn't bad enough i miss my Aimee. sometimes we don't agree on things and have arguements and fights about stuff by shes still my best friend and i miss her more than words can describe. we always go to busch gardens on preview or st patricks day which ever you'd like to call it but this year we can't and its not fair. my parents are making me go with them. its my spring break i should be allowed to do what i want to. if i could i'd sleep through the whole thing (not really) but anyways i miss her. shes the only one that really understands me and the only one who never seems to have to have an explanation, but just excepts me. this fall i'm going to England to see keane before his retirement and it will stink with out here. you see we've always both of use been dieing to go to england and she will probly be gone on her mission by then so it will just be me lol lol i'm pathetic you see i'm sitting here crying. I really miss my sister. And if that isn't enough i have so much school work it isn't funny Caldwell's midterm is next week and i'm stressed about that lonely and missing my sister, i've got a thousand things to get down and then i'm constantly worried about my future so you see life isn't that fun right now. but its okay i love caldwell (not like that) hes one of the greatest teachers i have ever had. anyways so i haven't seen Aimee in like well alittle over a month. we use to see each other just about every day and now its hardly at all. it feels more like i'm losing her than anything else. So i guess this isn't exactly the most perky happy post ever so i guess i will say good night, drive safe, sleep well, and dream large. and do remember to love everyone regardless of shortcomings on either side. i guess this is it then Take Care.

2005-02-22T22:26:00.000-05:00

CHELSEA LOST LA DA DE DE YEAH CHELSEA LOST EVEYONE NOW SING ALONG JOY TO THE WORLD CHELSEA LOST LET MAN UTD REJOICE. YES OVERLY JOYED NEVER FELT SO GOOD, CHELSEA IS NOW OUT OF THE RUNNING FOR THE FA CUP :-). AND ARESENAL TIED TIED!!!! AGAINST SHEFFIELD UNITED!!! A FIRST DIVISION TEAM WHAT IS THAT I MEAN SHEFFIELD UNITED FOR CRYING OUT LOULD. ANYWAYS MY PREDICTIONS ARE THIS IS THE BEGINING OF THE END FOR CHELSEA THEY GO DOWN HILL FROM HERE. LOSING EVERYTHING (DON'T GET ME WRONG I DON'T HATE CHELSEA I JUST DON'T WANT THEM TO WIN) AND THEN MAN UTD WILL WIN FA CUP, CHAMPIONS LEAGUE AND THE EPL TITLE. AND IF MY PREDICTIONS DON'T COME TRUE I WILL BE SUPRIZED VERY MUCH SO. BUT WE'VE PRETTY MUCH GOT THE FA CUP IN THE BAG WE WON IT LAST YEAR AND WE'LL WIN IT AGAIN THIS YEAR. AND WE PLAY AC MILAN TOMORROW IN CHAMPIONS LEAGUE SO WE'LL SEE HOW THAT GOES. ANYWAYS LIFE IS GOOD WHEN YOU'RE A UNITED FAN. I LOVE MANCHESTER UNITED AND JUST AM ABSOLUTELY THRILLED. ITS BEEN AN EXCITING SEASON SO FAR AND IT WILL ONLY GET BETTER. TAKE CARE.

P.S. CHELSEA LOST YAAAAA THEY LOST THEY LOST THEY REALLY REALLY LOST AND AGAINST NEWCASTLE IT REALLY IS THE BEGINING OF THE END FOR THEM.

2005-02-21T22:05:00.000-05:00

Here is one of the all time greatest movies ever. I grew up watching these movies and looooooooved them and then of course there was the cartoon me and my bothers had to see EVERY saturday morning. Me and Jared when we were young use to pretend we were the ghostbusters and went around the house trapping ghosts it was great. We own the second one and the first one went missing ages ago. But sunday the first one came on and so after that one we watched the second one. Its funny how you can forget so much and watching one movie brings so many memories back. There were very few movies that we could all sit down and enjoy as a family but Ghostbusters was deffanity one of them. though my dad never enjoyed it or any other movie the rest of us did we rather outnumbered him. Labrynth, neverending story, the goonies, back to the future, beatlejuice, and big trouble little china were all movies we watched none stop growing up. LOL mmmm good memories. yes thank you now i few really old. The eighties were good for movies. One day i'd like to have an eighties marathon and just watch all those great movies. One of these days right.

2005-02-21T21:08:00.000-05:00

SANDRA DEE
APRIL 23, 1942-FEBRUARY 20, 2005

2005-02-21T19:44:00.000-05:00

I have so much to do this week!!! Too Much. i have two philosophy posts, three philosophy journals, a paper in history to do, chapter questions for chapters 11-14 in theatre and a business law paper all due at the end of the week.and then mid-terms are the following week, and then a largely needed spring break that i will hopefully sleep through. By the way here is a get fuzzy to lighten the mood. I'm in love with Rob. LOL. Just click on it to make it larger.

2005-02-21T18:44:00.000-05:00

Galapagos Islands, I really really want to go someday to see them. I'm planning on making it my graduation present to myself when ever i get out of college or maybe just a spring break one year. Or maybe if i get into provo i'll go on winter break so i can remind myself what warm is. LOL i'd love to go though someday to see these islands.

2005-02-20T22:59:00.000-05:00

A NEW PICUTE I FOUND OF RYAN GIGGS. :-) A VERY NICE ONE TOO!

2005-02-20T19:14:00.000-05:00

"I've got a right to be wrong
My mistakes will make me strong
I'm stepping out into the great unknown
I'm feeling wings though I've never flown
Got a mind of my own
I'm flesh and blood to the bone
I'm not made of stone
Got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone

I've got a right to be wrong
I've been held down too long
I've got to break free
So I can finally breathe
Got THE right to be wrong
Got to sing my own song
I might be singing out of key
But it sure feels good to me
Got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone

You're entitled to your opinion
But it's really my decision
I can't turn back I'm on a mission
If you care don't you dare blur my vision
Let me be all that I can be
Don't smother me with negativity
Whatever's out there waiting for me
I'm going to face it willingly

I've got a right to be wrong
My mistakes will make me strong
I'm stepping out into the great unknown
I'm feeling wings though I've never flown
I've got a mind of my own
Flesh and blood to the bone
See, I'm not made of stone
I've got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone

I've got a right to be wrong
I've been held down to long
I've got to break free
So I can finally breathe
I've got a right to be wrong
Got to sing my own song
I might be singing out of key
But it sure feels good to me
I've got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone"

ABOUT ME

2005-02-18T21:27:00.000-05:00

I'VE BEEN POSTING STUFF AND TALKING ABOUT THINGS, SO I FIGURE IT WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.

NAME: VANESSA
AGE: 20
MARETIAL STATUS: SINGLE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR A GOOD RM.
FAMILY : MOM & DAD AND THREE BROTHERS
ANIMALS: TWO DOGS, THREE CATS
OCCUPATION: STUDENT (A VERY DANGEROUS ONE I MIGHT ADD)

FAVORITES
COLOR: GREEN OR BLUE
BOOK: PRIDE AND PREJUDICE BY JANE AUSTEN, AND THE ABARAT SERIES (TOTAL SCIENCE FICTION DORK.)
SONG: I KNOW THAT MY REDEMER LIVES
MUSIC: ANY IRISH FOLK IS ALWAYS GOOD AND I REALLY DO LOVE EVERYTHING BUT RAP.
SINGER: JOSH GROBAN (BIG MYSTERY THERE RIGHT)
BAND: U2, MUSE OR SNOWPATROL
SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: LITERATURE AND HISTORY
MOVIE: THE MAGIC OF ORDINARY DAYS
FOOD: BREAKFAST STUFF
TREAT: CADBURY EGGS
FLOWER: PINK ROSES
ICE CREAM: BRUSTER'S "FORGIEN AFFAIR" or ANYTHING BEN AND JERRYS
STATE: UPSTATE NEW YORK (SPRING AND SUMMER)
SPORT: FOOTBALL ( REALY FOOTBALL NOT THE SISSIFIED AMERICAN STUFF)
SPORTS TEAM: MANCHESTER UNITED
PLAYER: ROY KEANE
NEW PLAYER: GABRIEL HEINZE
CAR: JAGUAR XKR COUPE AND CONVERTABLE
PASSTIME: WATCHING FOOTBALL GAMES
TV SHOW: JOAN OF ARCADIA AND NEWLYWEDS AND LAGUNA BEACH
TV CHANNEL: BBC AMERICA AND FOX SOCCER CHANNEL
ACTOR: CARY GRANT
ACTRESS: AUDREY HEPBURN
COMMIC STRIP: GET FUZZY
SCRIPTURE: D&C 24-8

OTHER STUFF
COUNTRY TO VISIT: ENGLAND
PLACE I'D LIKE TO SEE: GALAPAGOS ISLANDS
PLACE I'D NEVER LIKE TO GO: BRAZIL
WHAT I WANT TO DO: GET MARRIED HAVE GREAT AMAZING KIDS AND TRAVEL THE WORLD.
STUDY IN SCHOOL: ACCOUNTING (FUTURE CPA)
GREATEST LOVE IN LIFE: CHURCH AND HEAVENLY FATHER
GREATEST HATRED IN LIFE: GEORGE W. BUSH, REPUBLICANS, AND ATHEISTS
QUALITIES I LIKE IN A PERSON: SWEET, CARING, GOOD LISTENER, COMPASSIONATE, HUMBLE, AND KIND.
QUALITIES I HATE IN A PERSON: ARROGANCE, SELF-CENTERED, UNAPPRECIATIVE, I HATE "ME" KIND OF PEOPLE.

2005-02-18T18:46:00.000-05:00

BEACH WITH ATLANTIC OCEAN AND SEAGULLS AT VIRGINIA BEACH.

2005-02-18T18:39:00.000-05:00

STAIR CASE IN LIGHTHOUSE (CAPE HENRY)

OCEAN!!!

2005-02-18T17:49:00.000-05:00

HEY YESTERDAY I WENT TO VIRGINIA BEACH WITH MY PARENTS. WE DROVE DOWN WEDNESDAY AND SPENT THE NIGHT. WELL ACTUALLY IT WAS MORE LIKE ME DRIVING, I DROVE ALL THE WAY FROM CHARLOTTESVILLE TO VIRGINIA BEACH, WE DIDN'T GET THERE TILL AFTER 1 AM BUT I DIDN'T MIND SINCE WE TOOK MY CAR(I LOVE LOVE LOVE DRIVING MY CAR) ANYWAYS SO WHEN DAD WENT TO HIS MEETING ME AND MOM SPENT THE DAY DOING ALL KINDS OF GREAT STUFF. FIRST WE DROVE DOWN TO THE OCEAN AND PLAYED ON THE BEACH IT WAS GREAT THERE WAS ONLY LKE THREE OTHER PEOPLE ON THE ENTIRE BEACH AND I RAN UP AND DOWN AND COLLECTED SEA SHELLS AND GOT MY FEET DRENCHED I FELT LIKE A LITTLE CHILD AGAIN IT WAS GREAT. AND THEN WE WENT TO SEE THE LIGHTHOUSES, THE ONLY THING IS THE LIGHT HOUSES ARE ON THE NAVAL BASE (SOLDIERS HERE I COME ;-))
WE HAD TO GET OUT OF OUR CALL AND HAVE THE MILITARY SEARCH IT DOWN IT WAS REALLY FUN. AND THE MP THAT WAS STATIONED THERE WAS VERY HOT. BUT ANYWAYS WE GOT TO SEE THE LIGHTHOUSES (I LOVVVVVEEEE LIGHTHOUSES WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I USE TO BEG TO GO SEE ALL THE LIGHTHOUSES WE COULD ON VACATION. BUT I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY BEEN IN ONE WELL I GOT TO YESTERDAY THE OLD CAPE HENRY WE GOT TO GO IN AND ALL THE WAY UP ALL 191 STEPS AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT NORMAL STAIRS I'M TALKING ABOUT STEEP HIGH PAINFUL STAIRS. BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT THE VIEW FROM THE TOP WAS AMAZING TO SAY THE LEAST AND THEN WE COULDN'T GO IN THE OTHER ONE CUZ ITS OWNED BY THE COAST GUARD, BUT I GOT A LIGHTHOUSE NECKLASE, A T-SHIRT, PLAYING CARDS ( I COLLECT PLAYING CARDS) A SMASH PENNY (COLLECT THOSE TOO) A SMASH PENNY BOOK AND SOME OTHER STUFF. THEN WE WENT TO THIS PETTING ZOO WITH ALL KIND OF ANIMALS AND IT TOOOOK FOREVER!!! TO FIND AND THEN IT WAS CLOSED BUT I STILL GOT TO SEE SOME CUTE DONKEES AND HORSES AND A HOT GUY AND A PECOOK (CAN'T SPELL) AND THEN WE WENT TO THE MALL AND I BOUGHT SHOES FOR CHURCH AND A NEW PAIR OF REALLY CUTE SOCKS. AND THEN WE WALK AROUND AND WENT TO A PET STORE AND THERE WAS A GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPPY AND I WAS SOOO SAD AND STARTED TO CRY ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS TAKE THE POOR THING IN MY ARMS AND SNUGGLE HIM AND TAKE HIM HOME IT WAS AWEFUL. AND THEN WE WENT HOME AND ON THE WAY HOME WE STOPPED AT ONE OF MY FAVORITE RESTURANTS EVER TO EAT AND IT WAS GOOD AND THEN WE GOT HOME AND I WENT TO BED.

VANESSA'S FIVE FAVORITE RESTURANTS EVER
1. RAINFOREST CAFE
2. IHOP
3. DENNY'S
4. O'CHARELY'S
5 GROGANS

2005-02-15T19:25:00.000-05:00

"LEAD KINDLY LIGHT"

2005-02-15T19:10:00.000-05:00

LEAD, KINDLY LIGHT, AMID THE ENCIRCLING GLOOM,
LEAD THOU ME ON!
THE NIGHT IS DARK, AND I AM FAR FROM HOME;
LEAD THOU ME ON!
KEEP THOU MY FEET; I DO NOT ASK TO SEE THE DISTANT SCENE;
ONE STEP ENOUGH FOR ME.

I WAS NOT EVER THUS, NOR PRAYED THAT THOU
SHOULDST LEAD ME ON;
I LOVED TO CHOOSE AND SEE MY PATH; BUT NOW
LEAD THOU ME ON;
I LOVED THE GARNISH DAY, AND, SPITE OF FEARS,
PRIDE RULED MY WILL: REMEMBER NOT PAST YEARS!

SO LONG THY POWER HATH BLESSED ME, SURE IT STILL
WILL LEAD ME ON.
OVER MOOR AND FEN, OVER CRAG AND TORRENT, TILL
THE NIGHT IS GONE,
AND WITH THE MORN THOSE ANGEL FACES SMILE,
WHICH I HAVE LOVED LONG SINCE, AND LOST AWHILE!

2005-02-14T20:45:00.000-05:00

ANOTHER PIC FROM ORLANDO OF SEA WORLD OF SHAMMOO AND BABY SHAMMOO, WHAT I'D DO TO BE THERE AND WARM. I LOVE WHALES. IT WAS A GREAT VACATION MAYBE I'LL TELL YOU A BIT ABOUT IT AND POST A FEW MORE PICS SOMEDAY.

2005-02-14T20:42:00.000-05:00

ORLANDO, TEMPLE (A PICTURE I TOOK ON VACATION RIGHT BEFORE A HURRICAN HIT.

2005-02-14T20:40:00.000-05:00

REVOLT FROM THE NASTY COMMERCIAL HOLLIDAYS

2005-02-14T20:33:00.000-05:00

A VERY HAPPY VALENTINE TO ALL ( I HATE VALENTINES I DON'T LIKE THE DAY I HATE THE HOLLIDAY AND ITS A PAIN IN THE FARTHEST RELMS OF PAIN. ITS BRIAN'S FAVORITE HOLIDAY SO I HATE THIS DAY SORRY IF I'M NOT OVER JOYED AT THE THOUGHT OF A VALENTINE TWO THOUSAND MILES AWAY FROM HIM. THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT)

2005-02-13T20:48:00.000-05:00

My new all time favorite painting ever!! its by Greg Olsen and i will one day by the picute and have it framed and hang it up and cry everytime i look at it. The little innocent girl is touching the hand of her savior which was nailed to the cross because his pure and perfect love not only for her but every child every sinner , everyone, everyone who will ever walk this world and those that won't have the chance. No greater love hath any man ever possesed then he has for me and for you.

I'M SORRY

2005-02-13T20:40:00.000-05:00

I'm just taking this chance to say i'm sorry to my best friend, sister, twin, and so fourth, Aimee i would like to tell her i'm sorry about the previous post i didn't mean to make it sound the way it came out i did it half asleep after a long day and i was just typing and didn't realize that it sounded harsh towards her and then she emails me to find out why i'm mad at her, so i'm not mad just miss her and not happy shes not coming but thats it not mad not angry not judgeing or anything of the sort and i'm sorry that it sounded as though i was. Love you (not like that). You are the only thing that keeps me sain half the time. and i miss you Take Care.

Today's Little Moments

2005-02-12T20:22:00.000-05:00

So today I had two girls from church come see me. On Sarah i know kinda from instititue this summer and then the other one lindsey is from the second ward and goes to JMU. They seem nice enough and i more than appreciate them coming and giving me someone other than mom to talk to. These days i don't have much other than mom to talk to. Aimee was suppose to come and spend a few days but she canceled. she's gotten into a habbit of doing that. its not so much that i miss her its more of the fact that i don't have anyone to hang around and talk to so when she says shes coming i get excited to have someone new to talk to and then she tells me some excuse of why she can't. So anyways back to them. Saturday is my day to be lazy its the one day a week i don't have to worry about how i look i just get up and stay the whole day in pajamas and thats it my hair stays up in a pony tail and i lay around all day. cuz that is the only time i get to. Well about 12ish they call my mom (with me listening on the other line) and said they needed directions and so that was my que to wash my hair as fast as i could i think i broke a world record of cleaning up, i washed my hair did make up, dried hair, curled hair, brushed teeth, and got dressed in less then 12 minutes. yeah good job for me. anyways so they came and just talk about stuff, i can't tell you how great it is to talk to people my age with my morals and standards. it was more than nice. anyways so they brought homemade chocalate chip cookies (my all time favorite) and so i'm going to church tomorrow and i'm nervous about that. OH i did my philosophy work for a change thats a miracle. Me and mom went to see hitch yesterday the new movie with will smith it was soooo funny but it could have stood to be a bit cleaner their was to much language in it way to much for my taste. But i tell you what if i ever hear the guy that sits beside me in my WW2 class talk again i'll kill him. apparently hes a ex-military dude of some kind or another and everytime Caldwell says anything about military stuff ( and come on we are talking about a war for crying out loud so thats every other line) its yeah and uhhu and yep and mmmm and i think i'll kill him hes got to make a stubit noise in agreement like he knows what happened back then i'm going crazy but i love that set so he has to move i'll put a book there so he thinks someone is sitting there and then move it when he is nicely seated else where. Caldwell is great i love is class i got my first paper back friday and i had an "A" woohoo i'm happy and he wrote "good" so i'm really proud of that paper will get it framed. for those who haven't the wonderful chance of taking his class thats a lot coming from him an A and a good. so anyways have to write one this week (on the japanese part of the war) and i have to write a five page paper for theatre and a 400 word journal entry for Philosophy. yeah alot of writing to keep me busy, then i have a philosophy quiz monday, and to entries to put on the webpage and one to do tonight. yes i don't think free time will be a problem anytime soon thank you very much. anyhow will talk to everyone later. Take Care.

2005-02-11T23:14:00.000-05:00

Share a smile today!!

WHY NOT JUST BE REAL???

2005-02-11T21:51:00.000-05:00

Why can't a person simply be happy with themselves. I mean not the outside so much but the inside why isn't it that we never feel good enough for other people or important enough. where does that confidence come from. Don't get me wrong its not that i want everyone to start feeling like they are to good for one another but just like they don't have to be different than what they know they are. For example a teenager who doesn't cuss feels prompted to use filthy words, even though they know its not what they want to simply because ever one else is "and of course if everyone does it it must be the way to go". Or even a person who loooooves a type of music but its not what everyone listens to so they listen to what everyone is into at the moment. WHY??? why is it we do that? oh everyone wants to feel a part of the crowd no one wants to be on the outside looking in. Well what about the Nazis during World War Two none of the Germans wanted to be the one that wasn't a member of the Nazis party no one wanted to be the only one that didn't believe in Hitler and so they followed the man blindly trusting in someone they didn't like because they didn't want to be the outsider. what is that?? what is it in human nature that makes us do that to do what we know is wrong, know is bad for us, know we don't want to do simply to be accepted. Can't we just get over it? its like you walk into a store and hope no one you know is in there cuz you are not wearing the best outfit that day or whatnot. just get over it what does it matter anyways, why change you and what you want for someone else. if you want to go on a mission go, if you want to watch old black and white movies watch them, if you want to be silly and have fun in public then do it. what are you going to do at the end of your life say oh i wish i had done that or went to do this or traveled there are you going to say oh but its okay cuz i might have looked dumb or soing so might have thought it was silly. Well my word stop breathing cuz they might not like it. grow up and get over it. not everyone is going to like you and in fact the Lord even says in the Bible that it is when everyone likes you that you need to worry about yourselve. you can't and wont always please everyone just like not everyone pleases you so get off you bum and live you life and enjoy it, be happy, have joy in what is given to you. Don't pride yourselve in the fact that you sing well but don't kick yourselve if you don't God gave everyone some tallents that they might share them not that they can flaunt them and not so that others can feel bad that they don't have them. We are here to love each other and take care of one another not to feel bad about ourselves or to judge those around us. So the fact is be happy with yourselve if you can work and improve something about yourselve than all the more power to you DO IT but don't judge yourselve or anyone else, love each other and yourselve, but most important be happy with what you have. Take Care.

2005-02-10T23:00:00.000-05:00

Precious In His Sight

Why is it so hard??

2005-02-10T22:35:00.000-05:00

Why is it so hard to believe in something you know to be true?? I mean if you fall and someone picks you up time and time again don't you in turn start to know that each time you fall they'll pick you up again its just common sense. So why then do we lose faith? Heavenly Father has never let me down once i mean i think he does but just because i want so much and i'm not concerned with what's best for me. its like a big chocolate cookie you want it you know it'll taste great but its a monster to your body. I complain so much and wine about what i want and yet i have no right with all i have. I know hes there and that he loves me when i'm not in trouble or having a problem but the minute things aren't going my way i stop having so much faith and turn on him. I'm lazy and i listen to bad music and i watch crap on tv i have no business watching and everyday i say i'm going to get better and everyday i get worse. I let people bring down my spirits and i let boredom set in and laziness. I'm going to start going to church again its what i need. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and i know that i need him and i'm determined to get better, how am i to expect anything if i don't do my part and i'm going to start stopping people from using imappriate language around me it drives me insain. nothing is more irritating to me than someone cursing or using nastly language it just drives me up the wall and then some. all i want is to be good and follow the right path. okay yes be good is the most rediculous line in the written word but i mean to do what is right and to build up my testimony and to walk on the path that i need to be on and i wont let anyone in the way of that no one. and i'm determined for a temple marriage. I was given the promise that i could have my husband for all time and eternity and i will not let any movie, guy, friend, song, or whatever stand in my way i won't do it i can't let that happen. I'm worth more than that and i won't stop trying at this stage in my life. I'm tired of people bringing my faith and testimony down i won't let it happen anymore. I want more than this to be wondering around helplessly looking for happiness where i know i wont find it. i have gone to church my entire life except for the last 5 or 6 months and these months have been the absolutely loneliest months of my life. you'd think people would learn after a while. Anyways Take care.

2005-02-10T16:28:00.000-05:00

I haven't done alot today just school work BORING and watched some of my snow patrol dvd it was really good. I love snow patrol. OH OH guess what there is going to be a concert at JMU on the 26th of this month I'm so excited. Bearing Straight is going to be there and dad is taking me and mom. They probly will be the only over twenty people there LOL but its okay am really excited about that. They are a country group, but they are really good. I don't like country music alot but They are from Russia and are really really amazing i love their cd. Anyways i've better get back to my work so i can watch my movie tonight and i'm not going to stay up till 4am again to get it all in. Take Care.

2005-02-09T18:56:00.000-05:00

ONE OF MY MOST FAVORITE MAN UTD PICS DON'T ASK ME WHY JUST IS. FROM LEFT TO RIGHT NEVILLE, GARY, GIGGS, BECKHAM, NICKY, AND BROWN. GUY IN THE MIDDLE (NO CLUE)

2005-02-09T18:38:00.000-05:00

GET FUZZY THE GREATEST COMIC STRIP EVER. I WAS LOOKING FOR DIFFERENT ONE ABOUT FOOTBALL BUT COULDN'T FIND IT SO I'LL POST IT ANOTHER TIME.

My Dear James

2005-02-08T23:05:00.000-05:00

My Car had its first check up today. I was going through withdraw when i had to walk off and leave him there it was pathetic yes i know. But nothing major had to get the rotars on the brakes fixed and they have to order a part but everything is okay and covered under warranty so no money from me. But i gave James (the Car....... yes i named it) a good warm bath to cheer him up a bit. if you can't tell i love me baby.

MOMENTS FROM THE PAST

2005-02-07T22:21:00.000-05:00

Do we ever get second chances?? I mean do we get a chance to change something we regret or feel bad about? Well last night for some strange reason i had a dream about someone i haven't thought about in months. You see the summer before seventh grade a girl moved in the house across the street from me her name was samantha wynne and we quickly became really good friends and did everything together, i mean everything, and we were like best friends till our junior year of high school. but you see the last two years samantha's parents got divorced and she chose to live with her father and he never ever liked me, because i was moral and went to church and stuff. so anyways the last two years our friendship kinda slowly fell into pieces her father wouldn't let her do anything at all with me and at school she would always down everything i said and made it sound like she was so much better and the last day i saw her she told me goodbye that she'd miss me and i completely blew her off like yeah see you or someting like that. I don't know i guess i was really mad about how she was treating me. we had done everything together and went through alot and now she was like i don't know just not even trying to be friends. and so after she moved she called a few times and sent me an Easter card but i was mad so everytime she called i would act like i could care less and i read the card once and ripped it up. and so i didn't have her number or address and i never thought about it again. till last night and that dream was so strange. how do dreams work? i mean how is it that you had a friend years ago that you haven't thought about in ages you've moved on to better and brighter things and then one random night you dream about that person. i don't get it. anyways so for the whole day i've been thinking about her and regretting how i acted and vowing never to be selvish and angry like that again. I wonder how it'd be to see her again like if we ran into each other one day would we recognize each other. i don't know. I mean its a strange feeling having someone you really really care about vanish from your life and all of a sundden are you not suppose to care about them anymore?? I don't konw i mean i have a much better and much more amazing best friend i mean for peats sake she's pratically my twin sister and we have gone through much more and had much more fun and gone through alot of pain and trouble and she's the only thing that keeps me sain most of the time, but its just a wondering of the past and thinking about how things work out. anyways Take Care

2005-02-07T19:01:00.000-05:00

Josh Groban

A Day in my life

2005-02-07T18:20:00.000-05:00

Sorry i haven't posted in a while our cables that connect our internet and television had been cut "accidently" by the construction people next door. So we have been with out internet for almost a week. its sad how as americans we have nothing better than television or computer stuff to do. Right now i'm sitting in philosophy 102 writing this in my notebook instead of takeing notes to latter put on my blog. By the way phil 102 is the most boring class i have ever had to sit through i just took quiz on the reading which i didn't do so i'll probly get a rather poor grade on it. oh well. and then i have to sit through two more classes after this. I'm about to fall asleep actually its really pathetic. I'm a bit nervous though cuz i had to turn in my first essay to caldwell (history 267) friday and you never know what to expect from caldwell so i'm worried about that. Right now my professor is reading a philisophical poem and i wish i could run out of the room screaming for mercy it is sooooo boring. i need to find a job desperately have been looking for a while but my car payment is due the 21st so have to find one this week. both of my parents are sick now and what ever goes around i get so i'll have to out smart this cold and some how avoid it. its like the flu or something so heres hopeing, right. but the thing is if we all three get sick my mom and i will just get on with our lifes but my dad on the other hand is such a sissy. he will moan and groan and act as if he is dying its sooo pathectic. ( ten more minutes in class) I'll never get into byu. its okay i don't think its byu that i really want but rather to get married and marrigial bliss with someone who'll be a great husban and father is so much easier to find in the church and so yeah. This class is so boring i'm going insian. he will not shut up (5 minutes) Anyways i also want freedom my mom still treats me like an 8th grader. its so annoying 20 years old and still stuck at home. I want a Josh Groban candle but of course i can't et online to see how much they are. Woo Hoo getting out of class a whole three minutes early. Yeah now i get to go sit in business law for an hour. please just shot me now. Okay do you know whats more boring than sitting in class for an hour getting out of class an half hour early and sitting here waiting for history to start. anyways i think i'm going to read now i'm reading death of a salesman for introdution to theatre. Take Care.

Josh Groban

2005-02-07T18:04:00.000-05:00

So we went to see Josh Groban in concert saturday. We left here really early and its like a five hour drive to norfolk so that was fun. we stopped by williamsburg and got some ginger ale and shrewsbury cake yummy. and then we left and went the rest of the way to norfolk. we ate at ihop one of my all time favorite resturaunts i had the international passport breakfast with sweddish pancakes they were really good and then we went to the scope arena and waited. we got there at like 6ish and the concert wasn't till 8. so yeah. but you see we were suppose to meet my best friend Aimee and some other people that were driving seperatly. so we waited and waited and waited and got worried and worried 8 rolled around and no aimee, 8 30 still no aimee 8 45 still no aimee. the opening act was on stage till like 835 and then they got the stage ready for Josh and so we waited and waited and finially like close to 9 aimee comes in. yes after i had gotten nervous and scarred we had passed so many recks on the way there i was afraid that they might had been in an accident or something bad had happened to them and i was so worried. so anyways yes they got there in time for Josh and so we watched him and it was great concert really enjoyed it he sang my 4 favorite songs by him 1)remember when it rained 2)vincent 3) the one he does with the corrs and 4) you raise me up. so it was really a great concert i was just really tired and my eyes were going insain cuz my allergies were acting up and when he sang remember when it rained i cryed and my eyes lit up like fire and they drove me crazy. anyways so then aimee left and went home and i didn't hardly get to talk to her at all which wasn't fun and i miss her alot. But then that night me and my parents stayed in a hotel and my dad was really sick and it was"cough cough snore snore cough cough snore snore" allllllllllllllll night. but then we got to go see my little baby nephew and he was soooo cute and talked well just baby talk but it was soooo cute and when mom (his grammie) would talk to him he'd just look at her and smile the biggest sweetest smile imaginable. but he looooovvveeessss his daddy the minute michael would walk in the room he'd stop what ever he was doing and look at him and smile it was soooooo sweet. and then we left there and headed home and had to stop to get some cold medicine for dad and he bought me the josh groban live at the greek cd and dvd which we watched when we got home and it was great. Take Care

BYU

2005-02-02T20:23:00.000-05:00

SO CHANGE OF PLANS YES NO MORE IRELAND NO MORE ENGLISH DREAMS, NO ALL I WANT IS TO BE HAPPY AND MARRIED AND SO I FIGURE THE BEST WAY TO ACCOMPLISH BOTH GOALS IS TO GO TO BRIGHAM YOUNG UNIVERSITY. I'VE APPLIED BEFORE BUT ONLY TO THE ONE IN PROVO, UTAH AND DIDN'T GET ACCEPTED BUT I'VE WORKED HARD AND HAVE BROUGHT MY GRADES UP SO IN ABOUT AUGUST I'M GOING TO APPLY ONCE MORE TO ALL THREE BYU'S. I HAVE THIS EXTREME FEAR OF NOT GETTING EXCEPTED BECAUSE RIGHT NOW THIS IS ALL I WANT AND ALL I HAVE TO PLAN FOR AND SO IF I WAIT AND WAIT AND APPLY AND AM REJECTED ONCE AGAIN AND BY ALL THREE I'D BE TRUELY CRUSHED. I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW TRUELY DEEPLY I'D BE HURT. IT BE LIKE THE END OF ALL MY DREAMS, WELL JUST ABOUT. ANYWAYS THIS IS WHAT I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING. SO CROSS YOUR FINGURES AND PRAY FOR ME. THE SAD THING IS I HAVEN'T TOLD ANYONE BUT AIMEE AND THATS ONLY CUZ WE WERE SUPPOSE TO GO TO IRELAND TOGETHER (NOT LIKE THAT) AND I'M NOT GOING TO TELL ANYONE EVER UNTILL I GET A LETTER FROM ALL THREE SCHOOLS. SEE MY PARENTS WILL NEVER BE ALLOWED TO KNOW UNTILL THEN. ON ONE HAND I'M NOT GOING TO ADMIT TO MY MOM I WAS WRONG ABOUT ENGLAND AND IRELAND I WON'T GIVE HERE THE SATISFACTION AND I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT AT ALL. I DON'T WANT ANOTHER GREAT BUILD UP AND A GREAT FALL INTO DISPAIR LIKE LAST TIME AND I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO ASK ABOUT IT. LIKE LAST TIME PEOPLE WERE LIKE "DID YOU GET IN DID YOU GET IN" AND THEN WHEN I TOLD THEM NO THEY COULDN'T JUST DROP IT IT WAS LIKE CONSTANTLY OH SOING SO ASKED IF YOU GOT IN OR SOING SO IS GOING TO BYU OH YOU DIDN'T GET IN TO BAD AND I GOT SO SICK OF IT NO ONE COULD JUST SEE HOW DEFFISTATED I WAS AND DROP THE HOLE THING ALL TOGETHER I DIDN'T EVEN TELL ANYONE EXCEPT MY PARENTS I DIDN'T GET IN FOR LIKE MONTHS AFTERWARDS EVERY ONE ASKED AND I WAS LIKE OH I HAVEN'T HEARD CUZ I DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT AND SO FOR MONTHS I WOULD LIE TO EVERYONE. THE DAY I GOT THE LETTER I LAID IN BED THE WHOLE DAY AND BOO HOOED THE ENTIRE DAY AND WELL INTO THE WEE HOURS OF THE NEXT MORNING I THINK IT WAS THE HARDEST I'VE EVER TAKEN ANYTHING IN MY LIFE. USUALLY THINGS DON'T BOTHER ME SO BAD LIKE ITS LIKE WHAT EVER AND DOESN'T MATTER BUT ANYWAYS TALK TO EVERYONE SOON. TAKE CARE!

2005-02-02T20:22:00.000-05:00

ANOTHER PICTURE OF BYU

2005-02-02T20:21:00.003-05:00

BRIGHAM YOUNG STATUE

2005-02-02T20:21:00.002-05:00

FALL AT BYU

2005-02-02T20:21:00.001-05:00

PROVO, UTAH TEMPLE

2005-02-02T20:21:00.000-05:00

BYU AND A RAINBOW OF HOPE

2005-02-02T20:11:00.000-05:00

THIS WILL BE MY WEDDING DRESS ONE DAY :-) WHEN I FIND THE RIGHT GUY. THERE ARE VERY FEW THINGS I PLAN BUT I'VE BEEN PLANNING MY WEDDING SINCE I WAS LIKE SIX.